071. Strange longing
Charlotte held the dog's leash tightly with one hand and held Hardius's hand with the other.
It must have been due to a congenital disability. Everything about Charlotte was too small for her age. It felt strange to see her hands so small that they felt empty.
“Let’s go to the beach. I’ll show you something that will surprise you. I’ve been blind since birth, so I don’t really mind not being able to see... but it’s a shame that I can’t see that.”
“Really? I don’t know what it is, but I’m looking forward to it.”
“You won’t be disappointed. Of course, I’ve never seen it.”
Hardius found himself laughing without realizing it, thinking that she was so enthusiastically recommending something she had never seen before.
The two people, with Brave at the forefront, began walking along the path.
Just when he thought he had been listening to the rustling of fallen leaves for quite some time, Charlotte suddenly spoke again.
“The atmosphere at home was a mess because of the Punishment Squad incident. I was the first one to find out about it, so it ended up being my fault.”
Hardius, who had been listening, stopped walking for a moment.
Now that I think about it, how on earth did Emilia find out about the Purged Squad? There's no way Mitch Bern would have told her first.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yes, anything.”
“How did you find out about the Purged Squad?”
“That’s right...”
The absurd misunderstanding that arose from a single pistol and the many stories that were revealed as a result flowed out. Charlotte had no idea, but as the story continued, Hardius felt his heart, which had rarely wavered, pounding faster.
“He believed the people at the Hilden Farm were revolutionaries. They only had one pistol.”
Hardius froze even more at the sudden mention of the name 'Hilden Farm'.
“But when I think about it, it’s a little strange. Why would the farm people have ‘guns’? My sister also thinks it’s strange and plans to go to the village vigilantes soon.”
The last words were enough to make him nervous. What if Emilia finds out the true identity of Hilden Farm?
The reason it exists, its purpose, and what if she knew the truth about the forces that threaten her life? Just thinking about it makes Hardius's blood drain.
He knew that Mitch Bern had his suspicions about the farm. But he thought it would be okay. He thought it would be impossible to find out what their true intentions were since they were all seasoned soldiers. He was too careless.
"Master?"
Charlotte tilted her head, perhaps thinking that he was too quiet. Hardius tried to sound calm.
“You’d better leave that matter to me. Your sister is very busy these days and probably has a hard time with various problems.”
“Really? Can you really help me, Master?”
"Yes."
Charlotte smiled brightly. His silver-gray eyes, looking down at the child, sank into darkness.
Why didn't Emilia ask about Beppy Dilson's relationship with Hilden Farm? Was she too crazy to think about it because of the Squad, or did she have an inkling of it and deliberately not ask?
Whatever the truth, he must come up with a solution. When all this confusion has settled down, she will surely realize that something is strange. He will have to prepare another petty lie to deceive her.
The entire process from submitting the withdrawal request to receiving the permission was incredibly easy and quick, which was possible because Mitch Bern was a student who was always late with his tuition.
When things first started to break out, Emilia thought quitting school would be the best option, but she felt her heart growing heavier.
While Mitch said goodbye to his teacher, he stopped by the dormitory with Beppy and loaded his clothes, books, and belongings into the carriage.
The younger brother's belongings once again weighed heavily on the older sister's heart. Compared to his roommate's belongings, they were not only old but also looked like poverty and destitution.
The frustration reached its peak when she visited another school to check the admission and tuition fees. The admissions director, dressed in a fancy suit and with a lot of pomade, looked the shabby-looking brother and sister up and down and sighed as if he was very annoyed.
There was no explanation of the school's educational philosophy or curriculum. He only emphasized how expensive the tuition and dormitory fees were, and he practically kicked them out, saying that they should make an appointment in advance the next time they visit.
“Sister.”
Mitch cautiously called out to Emilia, who was walking slowly.
“I don’t want to go to school.”
"...What?"
Her gaze sharpened for a moment. At other times, Mitch would have cowered like a turtle, but he looked straight at his sister without giving in.
“How many boys like me wear school uniforms and read books? They all farm or work in factories.”
Emilia's mouth, which had opened to receive the blow, slowly closed.
The day she first learned about her stepmother's debt, didn't she think the same thing?
“School was a luxury for our circumstances. It was my mother’s excessive greed.”
“Crazy, no, that’s...”
“My sister told me to be realistic.”
He cut it down with one stroke of his sword as if it wasn't even worth listening to.
“It doesn’t mean I won’t go to school for the rest of my life. It just means I won’t go for the time being. Regardless of the Purged Squad, I was planning on dropping out anyway.”
"...What?!"
“Mom is at the factory. My sister is at the farm. Everyone is working hard, and you want me to just sit around and go to school? Think about it from my sister’s perspective. Would you do that?”
Realizing that his sister was unable to accept it, Mitch continued to speak as if he were pushing her.
“Mom’s health seems to be getting worse, and for the time being, I’m going to earn money like my sister. We need money. Not books, uniforms, or school.”
That was right.
It's not like you can blame only Hardy Meyer for the stepmother getting into debt. It was a reality before it was a dirty plot.
They were poor when their father was alive; they became poorer as they coveted Meyer, and they are poor even now.
Now that you've realized the dire reality, it's time to come to your senses.
“Yes. Let’s just take a semester off.”
"...Uh?"
She was momentarily taken aback by Mitch's stubbornness, as shr knew he would absolutely not do it.
Then, his face gradually brightened. This was the first time since the Purged Squad incident that his older sister had listened to him.
“Oh, yes... Thank you, Sister...”
Mitch, who was muttering with a slightly absent-minded look on his face, decided to muster up some more courage while he was at it.
“Then... how about this? I also work on a farm. The vineyard where my older sister works.”
This time, it was Emilia's turn to panic.
She suddenly stopped walking and hesitated before saying, “No, that’s not possible.” Without any further explanation, she refused. Mitch’s eyes widened as if he found it strange.
“That will stop soon.”
"Why?"
“I told you. It’s too far. Staying out all night is also a problem... More than anything, I want to find something I can do consistently.”
“But that Meyer guy... no, that guy said he would help you manage the books there.”
"No."
He was left speechless again by the decisive answer.
“I will never accept that person’s help. There is no such thing as a free lunch in this world. So, you crazy bastard, don’t even think about accepting that person’s help.”
The child's eyes became even more blank.
“Let’s go home now.”
“Huh? Huh...”
Mitch blankly stared at his sister's back, which was so cold it was driving him crazy, and then absentmindedly got into the carriage.
As the carriage carrying Emilia and Mitch had just set off for the forest, Hardius was listening to Charlotte's story somewhere on the road leading to the beach.
These were not everyday things at all. They were imaginary stories of dragons spitting fire from volcanoes and fairies and dwarves descending on the village every night to play mischievous pranks.
Hardius, who had been listening quietly, remembered a story she had told while throwing down her purse and frantically talking about the day Emilia showed up with her hair cut.
She clearly said, 'It's money saved for my family.'
“Have you ever thought about going to a school for the blind? I’ll talk to your sister about it.”
Charlotte suddenly stopped walking and raised her head toward him.
“You even say that?” said Hardius, who was met with disappointment and snickered again.
“I never want to go to school. The master said that I had to study Braille hard to become a butterfly... but I know now. I can never become a butterfly. I will live forever as a caterpillar and die.”
It was a very desperate story, but there was no hint of frustration or discouragement in Charlotte's voice.
A calm frustration strangely tickled Hardius's heart.
“Shall I tell you a secret? I haven’t even told my sister yet...”
How should I put it? Should I say it was like stepping on thin ice? Hardius stood there frozen with a rustling, shattering feeling in his heart.
Charlotte Bern is going to tell me something she hasn't even told her sister. Has anyone ever confided in me a secret?
...does not exist.
Hardius felt strangely nervous.
His world was filled with meticulous calculations and transactions. That kind of unconditional trust was not at all pleasant.
“You must not tell your secrets to just anyone.”
Charlotte was not at all disappointed by the blunt answer. The child giggled and replied, “You’re not just anyone, are you? You’re the guardian angel who protects our family.”
Hardius was once again in a strange mood.
Whether or not he knew what the other person was thinking, the child opened her mouth again, untying the leash that had been wrapped around her finger.
“I. Actually...”
When he realized that Charlotte was really going to tell him her secret, Hardius was instantly overcome by a very strange longing. It was something completely different from the one he had felt for Emilia, something unidentifiable, something very strange.
“I want to be in the theater.”
“...A theater troupe? A ‘troupe’ that does plays?”
“Yes. Exactly, that ‘troupe.’”
Hardius blinked slowly, not knowing what to say.
“I know. You might be thinking, how can you do a play when you can’t even see ahead? Of course you would.”
Charlotte giggles to herself, wondering what's so funny.
“But there is one thing you have missed, my lord. In every play, there is a ‘monster’. I saw a play called ‘The Monster Bride’ at a village festival. It was about a beautiful young lady who was taken by a monster. While everyone else was focusing on the female protagonist, I was obsessed with the monster. More specifically, the hunchback who played the monster.”
A blind child who wants to act as a monster...
“It’s not bad. But I think it would be better to keep it a secret from your sister.”
"That's right."
Charlotte giggled again.
“My sister always tells me I’m an angel. When I was little, I believed her words, but now I know better. I can’t be a beautiful angel even if I die soon. This mole will never go away, I won’t be able to see until I die, and I’ll be a one-eyed monster forever.”
It was a very sad word, like the autumn leaves turning red.
“But that’s okay. Not everyone can become a butterfly. More people roll around on the ground like caterpillars. And... there must be someone who likes a disgusting caterpillar like you...”
The face of the child who continued speaking hesitantly was strangely shining. Hardius was reminded of Emilia again.
Now he understands. How have you endured and endured the harsh burden of being my fiancée for the past five years? Behind you stand such huge and strong beings. Beings who give each other the strength to live. That is, family.
“I think we’re all here. Do you see the hammock?”
Hardius was able to immediately locate the hammock hanging from a tree on the hillside.
“Just go there. ‘Moriah’ is right there.”
“...Moriah?”
“You’ll know when you go.”
Hardius stood in front of the hammock with the child.
Beyond the netting swaying in the wind, there was something like a small box.
Since he had no expectations, he was thinking in advance about an appropriate response to suit the child's mood.
But when he craned his neck to look inside the box, hearing a rustling sound, Hardius was once again at a loss for words.
There was a cat.
It was a kitten so small it made him feel strange.
“My sister found it. It was during the last heavy rain. I think Moriah lost his mother and brothers then.”
Charlotte muttered in a lonely voice.
“I want to take it home and raise it, but my sister absolutely refuses. It’s too ferocious, probably because it’s a stray cat. My sister says we should just leave it alone so it can live naturally... But I think it’s too much of a baby for that...”
As if responding to Charlotte's words, the cat purred, its fur standing on end. Hardius' hand reached into the box and lifted up a bundle of brown fur.
The next moment, a sharp cry came along with a stinging pain. The furball had dared to bite his finger.
Hardius quickly subdued him by squeezing his neck.
He could have easily been strangled, but instead of being scared, he fought back fiercely.
He lifted the cat higher.
The guy who was hanging there was flailing around like crazy.
He grabbed the soft skin of his stomach with one hand, and it really sagged as if declaring surrender.
“Yeah, you have to know how to lose to win.”
It was a moment when Hardius muttered with satisfaction.
"Charlotte!"
A voice as fierce as a cat's came riding on the waves.
Previous Next
Charlotte held the dog's leash tightly with one hand and held Hardius's hand with the other.
It must have been due to a congenital disability. Everything about Charlotte was too small for her age. It felt strange to see her hands so small that they felt empty.
“Let’s go to the beach. I’ll show you something that will surprise you. I’ve been blind since birth, so I don’t really mind not being able to see... but it’s a shame that I can’t see that.”
“Really? I don’t know what it is, but I’m looking forward to it.”
“You won’t be disappointed. Of course, I’ve never seen it.”
Hardius found himself laughing without realizing it, thinking that she was so enthusiastically recommending something she had never seen before.
The two people, with Brave at the forefront, began walking along the path.
Just when he thought he had been listening to the rustling of fallen leaves for quite some time, Charlotte suddenly spoke again.
“The atmosphere at home was a mess because of the Punishment Squad incident. I was the first one to find out about it, so it ended up being my fault.”
Hardius, who had been listening, stopped walking for a moment.
Now that I think about it, how on earth did Emilia find out about the Purged Squad? There's no way Mitch Bern would have told her first.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yes, anything.”
“How did you find out about the Purged Squad?”
“That’s right...”
The absurd misunderstanding that arose from a single pistol and the many stories that were revealed as a result flowed out. Charlotte had no idea, but as the story continued, Hardius felt his heart, which had rarely wavered, pounding faster.
“He believed the people at the Hilden Farm were revolutionaries. They only had one pistol.”
Hardius froze even more at the sudden mention of the name 'Hilden Farm'.
“But when I think about it, it’s a little strange. Why would the farm people have ‘guns’? My sister also thinks it’s strange and plans to go to the village vigilantes soon.”
The last words were enough to make him nervous. What if Emilia finds out the true identity of Hilden Farm?
The reason it exists, its purpose, and what if she knew the truth about the forces that threaten her life? Just thinking about it makes Hardius's blood drain.
He knew that Mitch Bern had his suspicions about the farm. But he thought it would be okay. He thought it would be impossible to find out what their true intentions were since they were all seasoned soldiers. He was too careless.
"Master?"
Charlotte tilted her head, perhaps thinking that he was too quiet. Hardius tried to sound calm.
“You’d better leave that matter to me. Your sister is very busy these days and probably has a hard time with various problems.”
“Really? Can you really help me, Master?”
"Yes."
Charlotte smiled brightly. His silver-gray eyes, looking down at the child, sank into darkness.
Why didn't Emilia ask about Beppy Dilson's relationship with Hilden Farm? Was she too crazy to think about it because of the Squad, or did she have an inkling of it and deliberately not ask?
Whatever the truth, he must come up with a solution. When all this confusion has settled down, she will surely realize that something is strange. He will have to prepare another petty lie to deceive her.
***
The entire process from submitting the withdrawal request to receiving the permission was incredibly easy and quick, which was possible because Mitch Bern was a student who was always late with his tuition.
When things first started to break out, Emilia thought quitting school would be the best option, but she felt her heart growing heavier.
While Mitch said goodbye to his teacher, he stopped by the dormitory with Beppy and loaded his clothes, books, and belongings into the carriage.
The younger brother's belongings once again weighed heavily on the older sister's heart. Compared to his roommate's belongings, they were not only old but also looked like poverty and destitution.
The frustration reached its peak when she visited another school to check the admission and tuition fees. The admissions director, dressed in a fancy suit and with a lot of pomade, looked the shabby-looking brother and sister up and down and sighed as if he was very annoyed.
There was no explanation of the school's educational philosophy or curriculum. He only emphasized how expensive the tuition and dormitory fees were, and he practically kicked them out, saying that they should make an appointment in advance the next time they visit.
“Sister.”
Mitch cautiously called out to Emilia, who was walking slowly.
“I don’t want to go to school.”
"...What?"
Her gaze sharpened for a moment. At other times, Mitch would have cowered like a turtle, but he looked straight at his sister without giving in.
“How many boys like me wear school uniforms and read books? They all farm or work in factories.”
Emilia's mouth, which had opened to receive the blow, slowly closed.
The day she first learned about her stepmother's debt, didn't she think the same thing?
“School was a luxury for our circumstances. It was my mother’s excessive greed.”
“Crazy, no, that’s...”
“My sister told me to be realistic.”
He cut it down with one stroke of his sword as if it wasn't even worth listening to.
“It doesn’t mean I won’t go to school for the rest of my life. It just means I won’t go for the time being. Regardless of the Purged Squad, I was planning on dropping out anyway.”
"...What?!"
“Mom is at the factory. My sister is at the farm. Everyone is working hard, and you want me to just sit around and go to school? Think about it from my sister’s perspective. Would you do that?”
Realizing that his sister was unable to accept it, Mitch continued to speak as if he were pushing her.
“Mom’s health seems to be getting worse, and for the time being, I’m going to earn money like my sister. We need money. Not books, uniforms, or school.”
That was right.
It's not like you can blame only Hardy Meyer for the stepmother getting into debt. It was a reality before it was a dirty plot.
They were poor when their father was alive; they became poorer as they coveted Meyer, and they are poor even now.
Now that you've realized the dire reality, it's time to come to your senses.
“Yes. Let’s just take a semester off.”
"...Uh?"
She was momentarily taken aback by Mitch's stubbornness, as shr knew he would absolutely not do it.
Then, his face gradually brightened. This was the first time since the Purged Squad incident that his older sister had listened to him.
“Oh, yes... Thank you, Sister...”
Mitch, who was muttering with a slightly absent-minded look on his face, decided to muster up some more courage while he was at it.
“Then... how about this? I also work on a farm. The vineyard where my older sister works.”
This time, it was Emilia's turn to panic.
She suddenly stopped walking and hesitated before saying, “No, that’s not possible.” Without any further explanation, she refused. Mitch’s eyes widened as if he found it strange.
“That will stop soon.”
"Why?"
“I told you. It’s too far. Staying out all night is also a problem... More than anything, I want to find something I can do consistently.”
“But that Meyer guy... no, that guy said he would help you manage the books there.”
"No."
He was left speechless again by the decisive answer.
“I will never accept that person’s help. There is no such thing as a free lunch in this world. So, you crazy bastard, don’t even think about accepting that person’s help.”
The child's eyes became even more blank.
“Let’s go home now.”
“Huh? Huh...”
Mitch blankly stared at his sister's back, which was so cold it was driving him crazy, and then absentmindedly got into the carriage.
***
As the carriage carrying Emilia and Mitch had just set off for the forest, Hardius was listening to Charlotte's story somewhere on the road leading to the beach.
These were not everyday things at all. They were imaginary stories of dragons spitting fire from volcanoes and fairies and dwarves descending on the village every night to play mischievous pranks.
Hardius, who had been listening quietly, remembered a story she had told while throwing down her purse and frantically talking about the day Emilia showed up with her hair cut.
She clearly said, 'It's money saved for my family.'
“Have you ever thought about going to a school for the blind? I’ll talk to your sister about it.”
Charlotte suddenly stopped walking and raised her head toward him.
“You even say that?” said Hardius, who was met with disappointment and snickered again.
“I never want to go to school. The master said that I had to study Braille hard to become a butterfly... but I know now. I can never become a butterfly. I will live forever as a caterpillar and die.”
It was a very desperate story, but there was no hint of frustration or discouragement in Charlotte's voice.
A calm frustration strangely tickled Hardius's heart.
“Shall I tell you a secret? I haven’t even told my sister yet...”
How should I put it? Should I say it was like stepping on thin ice? Hardius stood there frozen with a rustling, shattering feeling in his heart.
Charlotte Bern is going to tell me something she hasn't even told her sister. Has anyone ever confided in me a secret?
...does not exist.
Hardius felt strangely nervous.
His world was filled with meticulous calculations and transactions. That kind of unconditional trust was not at all pleasant.
“You must not tell your secrets to just anyone.”
Charlotte was not at all disappointed by the blunt answer. The child giggled and replied, “You’re not just anyone, are you? You’re the guardian angel who protects our family.”
Hardius was once again in a strange mood.
Whether or not he knew what the other person was thinking, the child opened her mouth again, untying the leash that had been wrapped around her finger.
“I. Actually...”
When he realized that Charlotte was really going to tell him her secret, Hardius was instantly overcome by a very strange longing. It was something completely different from the one he had felt for Emilia, something unidentifiable, something very strange.
“I want to be in the theater.”
“...A theater troupe? A ‘troupe’ that does plays?”
“Yes. Exactly, that ‘troupe.’”
Hardius blinked slowly, not knowing what to say.
“I know. You might be thinking, how can you do a play when you can’t even see ahead? Of course you would.”
Charlotte giggles to herself, wondering what's so funny.
“But there is one thing you have missed, my lord. In every play, there is a ‘monster’. I saw a play called ‘The Monster Bride’ at a village festival. It was about a beautiful young lady who was taken by a monster. While everyone else was focusing on the female protagonist, I was obsessed with the monster. More specifically, the hunchback who played the monster.”
A blind child who wants to act as a monster...
“It’s not bad. But I think it would be better to keep it a secret from your sister.”
"That's right."
Charlotte giggled again.
“My sister always tells me I’m an angel. When I was little, I believed her words, but now I know better. I can’t be a beautiful angel even if I die soon. This mole will never go away, I won’t be able to see until I die, and I’ll be a one-eyed monster forever.”
It was a very sad word, like the autumn leaves turning red.
“But that’s okay. Not everyone can become a butterfly. More people roll around on the ground like caterpillars. And... there must be someone who likes a disgusting caterpillar like you...”
The face of the child who continued speaking hesitantly was strangely shining. Hardius was reminded of Emilia again.
Now he understands. How have you endured and endured the harsh burden of being my fiancée for the past five years? Behind you stand such huge and strong beings. Beings who give each other the strength to live. That is, family.
“I think we’re all here. Do you see the hammock?”
Hardius was able to immediately locate the hammock hanging from a tree on the hillside.
“Just go there. ‘Moriah’ is right there.”
“...Moriah?”
“You’ll know when you go.”
Hardius stood in front of the hammock with the child.
Beyond the netting swaying in the wind, there was something like a small box.
Since he had no expectations, he was thinking in advance about an appropriate response to suit the child's mood.
But when he craned his neck to look inside the box, hearing a rustling sound, Hardius was once again at a loss for words.
There was a cat.
It was a kitten so small it made him feel strange.
“My sister found it. It was during the last heavy rain. I think Moriah lost his mother and brothers then.”
Charlotte muttered in a lonely voice.
“I want to take it home and raise it, but my sister absolutely refuses. It’s too ferocious, probably because it’s a stray cat. My sister says we should just leave it alone so it can live naturally... But I think it’s too much of a baby for that...”
As if responding to Charlotte's words, the cat purred, its fur standing on end. Hardius' hand reached into the box and lifted up a bundle of brown fur.
The next moment, a sharp cry came along with a stinging pain. The furball had dared to bite his finger.
Hardius quickly subdued him by squeezing his neck.
He could have easily been strangled, but instead of being scared, he fought back fiercely.
He lifted the cat higher.
The guy who was hanging there was flailing around like crazy.
He grabbed the soft skin of his stomach with one hand, and it really sagged as if declaring surrender.
“Yeah, you have to know how to lose to win.”
It was a moment when Hardius muttered with satisfaction.
"Charlotte!"
A voice as fierce as a cat's came riding on the waves.
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