It wasn’t wrong to want to be confirmed in love, right?
I kept thinking about Pocalor’s words.
However, just because it wasn’t wrong doesn’t mean it only brings good results.
I felt breathless. It felt like the world had stopped until the answer came back.
The carriage shook, but my gaze on him didn’t waver at all.
I couldn’t even blink. Because I thought he might react differently in that brief moment. Because I thought there might be a moment I couldn’t miss.
Thump.
At that moment, the carriage shook again, and Belled’s face, revealed under the light, was slightly wide-eyed.
Our eyes met, and Belled’s hand wrapped around me.
“...So you’re saying I wasn’t able to convince you.”
A low voice was heard.
I unconsciously tightened my grip on his hand at that voice.
My heart felt like it was going to burst out, I thought. It was confusing whether it was the carriage or my head that was shaking.
“How much I...”
Belled, who had been speaking, let out a breath. The voice that spoke seemed to brush past my ear with a particularly heated breath.
“Do you know that I first learned patience while I was with you, to be with you?”
The slightly heated voice rang in my ear.
“It was a life that didn’t need patience.”
Belled gave me a short kiss as I looked back at him without realizing it.
“If I hadn’t loved you.”
Sigh.
The kisses continued.
“To touch you like this, to get close to you...”
The arm that had been wrapping around my back slid down along the soft curve of my body.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to penetrate deep inside.”
K thought that the feeling of the strong legs I was sitting on felt even more powerful.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to spend time with you like this, and I wouldn’t have been unable to focus on my work because of you. Not only that.”
Following his movements, my body became completely close to his.
More than anything, my face turned red as if I felt his heavy presence.
“My body wouldn’t have reacted to you. And.”
“...!”
Belled’s voice, speaking like that, could be heard from a distance where my eyelashes could touch.
The next moment, Belled carefully kissed my upper lip.
Something soft and smooth brushed the inside of my upper lip and then left.
“Ah..."
It was when I closed my eyes in a warm and fuzzy feeling.
“I wouldn’t have tried to stop here.”
Over and over again, recklessly. Over and over again, I would have tried to indulge you according to my desires.
At those words, I unconsciously tightened the hand I placed on his shoulder.
A low sob flowed out. As if I was suppressing something.
“...I endured it because I was afraid of that, but if that made it harder for you.”
He let out a short breath and gently grabbed my face and held it against me.
“Was that why? That you’ve been having a hard time.”
That he was anxious when he saw me. He closed and opened his eyes.
“There’s no need to care about these things.”
Even if you don’t care about them, you’re still lovely, and even if you care about them, you’re still lovely... He whispered softly.
“You’re so charming, Beryl.”
He smiled faintly.
“So it doesn’t matter what you look like. I love you not because of your fragmented appearance.”
His hand gently stroked my cheek.
“Everything you do is lovely.”
And then, no.
“I love your surroundings so much that even the things you touch seem meaningful..."
His lips took my breath away once again.
“Don’t care about how you change.”
He smiled.
“Did you ask what kind of appearance you like?”
I suddenly felt my heart tighten again.
Unlike humans who live for a hundred years at most, demons have no set lifespan.
“Yes, endless.”
I seemed to have envied the love between angels and humans at one time.
Reading about their love in the book, I envied the humans in the book.
At least they would be loved until I die. They wouldn’t have to suffer the pain of loss.
But I suddenly realized that my thoughts had changed.
I didn’t like it anymore. I kept thinking about the angel who would be left alone, not the human.
If I leave, what about you?
You who would be left alone? Wouldn’t you be spending too much time alone, feeling the same sense of loss that you had feared?
When I couldn’t continue my thoughts, Belled said.
“That’s why I had a selfish thought.”
He hugged my head and whispered.
“...I wish you were cursed like me.”
My eyes widened at those words.
I kept thinking about Pocalor’s words.
However, just because it wasn’t wrong doesn’t mean it only brings good results.
I felt breathless. It felt like the world had stopped until the answer came back.
The carriage shook, but my gaze on him didn’t waver at all.
I couldn’t even blink. Because I thought he might react differently in that brief moment. Because I thought there might be a moment I couldn’t miss.
Thump.
At that moment, the carriage shook again, and Belled’s face, revealed under the light, was slightly wide-eyed.
Our eyes met, and Belled’s hand wrapped around me.
“...So you’re saying I wasn’t able to convince you.”
A low voice was heard.
I unconsciously tightened my grip on his hand at that voice.
My heart felt like it was going to burst out, I thought. It was confusing whether it was the carriage or my head that was shaking.
“How much I...”
Belled, who had been speaking, let out a breath. The voice that spoke seemed to brush past my ear with a particularly heated breath.
“Do you know that I first learned patience while I was with you, to be with you?”
The slightly heated voice rang in my ear.
“It was a life that didn’t need patience.”
Belled gave me a short kiss as I looked back at him without realizing it.
“If I hadn’t loved you.”
Sigh.
The kisses continued.
“To touch you like this, to get close to you...”
The arm that had been wrapping around my back slid down along the soft curve of my body.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to penetrate deep inside.”
K thought that the feeling of the strong legs I was sitting on felt even more powerful.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to spend time with you like this, and I wouldn’t have been unable to focus on my work because of you. Not only that.”
Following his movements, my body became completely close to his.
More than anything, my face turned red as if I felt his heavy presence.
“My body wouldn’t have reacted to you. And.”
“...!”
Belled’s voice, speaking like that, could be heard from a distance where my eyelashes could touch.
The next moment, Belled carefully kissed my upper lip.
Something soft and smooth brushed the inside of my upper lip and then left.
“Ah..."
It was when I closed my eyes in a warm and fuzzy feeling.
“I wouldn’t have tried to stop here.”
Over and over again, recklessly. Over and over again, I would have tried to indulge you according to my desires.
At those words, I unconsciously tightened the hand I placed on his shoulder.
A low sob flowed out. As if I was suppressing something.
“...I endured it because I was afraid of that, but if that made it harder for you.”
He let out a short breath and gently grabbed my face and held it against me.
“Was that why? That you’ve been having a hard time.”
That he was anxious when he saw me. He closed and opened his eyes.
“There’s no need to care about these things.”
Even if you don’t care about them, you’re still lovely, and even if you care about them, you’re still lovely... He whispered softly.
“You’re so charming, Beryl.”
He smiled faintly.
“So it doesn’t matter what you look like. I love you not because of your fragmented appearance.”
His hand gently stroked my cheek.
“Everything you do is lovely.”
And then, no.
“I love your surroundings so much that even the things you touch seem meaningful..."
His lips took my breath away once again.
“Don’t care about how you change.”
He smiled.
“Did you ask what kind of appearance you like?”
Are you still curious, and still need confirmation?
I let out a short breath at his whispered words.
It felt like a dream, him whispering his love, saying that he liked every aspect of her.
It felt like it would disappear if I closed my eyes and opened them. It felt like I was floating on a cloud, to the point where I thought I might have misheard.
A little more, a little more. If only I could give me more confirmation than this.
I wish I could believe that this moment wasn't a dream.
“...Yes.”
I nodded. Then Beled said,
“Then I must point them out one by one.”
He gently placed his hand on my shoulder. He moved his fingertips as if patting me.
“Anything you have, whether it is something that cannot be changed or something that can be changed, is fine. Not only that..."
He kissed my shoulder.
“I love even the things you don’t have yet.”
His fingertips brushed my lips again. My breath which had been heated without me knowing it touched Belled’s hand.
“The breath that touches me, the hair.”
Even these fingertips. His hand, flowing gently, grabbed my hand.
My hand, which had been trembling, met the warmth and calmed down.
“The gentle warmth,”
“...Ah.”
He took away my short breath.
The kiss was so deep that my mind became hazy I couldn’t even tell what he had whispered.
Everything in my head evaporated, and what remained was that he loved me now. Whispering that he loves me.
I held his hand tightly.
“..Everything that makes you up is lovely.”
Still, aren’t you sure?
I bit my lip at those words. This warmth, this whispering, was real.
No, I wanted to say that.
But if all of this is true, then I.
“...What if I’m actually a completely different person than you know me to be?”
I let out a short breath at his whispered words.
It felt like a dream, him whispering his love, saying that he liked every aspect of her.
It felt like it would disappear if I closed my eyes and opened them. It felt like I was floating on a cloud, to the point where I thought I might have misheard.
A little more, a little more. If only I could give me more confirmation than this.
I wish I could believe that this moment wasn't a dream.
“...Yes.”
I nodded. Then Beled said,
“Then I must point them out one by one.”
He gently placed his hand on my shoulder. He moved his fingertips as if patting me.
“Anything you have, whether it is something that cannot be changed or something that can be changed, is fine. Not only that..."
He kissed my shoulder.
“I love even the things you don’t have yet.”
His fingertips brushed my lips again. My breath which had been heated without me knowing it touched Belled’s hand.
“The breath that touches me, the hair.”
Even these fingertips. His hand, flowing gently, grabbed my hand.
My hand, which had been trembling, met the warmth and calmed down.
“The gentle warmth,”
“...Ah.”
He took away my short breath.
The kiss was so deep that my mind became hazy I couldn’t even tell what he had whispered.
Everything in my head evaporated, and what remained was that he loved me now. Whispering that he loves me.
I held his hand tightly.
“..Everything that makes you up is lovely.”
Still, aren’t you sure?
I bit my lip at those words. This warmth, this whispering, was real.
No, I wanted to say that.
But if all of this is true, then I.
“...What if I’m actually a completely different person than you know me to be?”
I kept asking because I was afraid of losing him.
“That would be Beryl too.”
Belled answered without hesitation.
“What if I become a lot different from now?”
“When you ask me what kind of person I love, my answer would change.”
In the way, you’ve changed.
I bit my lip at those words.
“...No matter how much I change?”
Belled answered clearly in a slightly trembling voice.
“Yes, even if I change.”
He answered, patting me on the back.
“I have no intention of letting you go. How much I...”
His words were cut off. I asked carefully.
“...How much?”
Was it a story he didn’t want to tell? After a short silence, he continued.
“If you knew what I was worried about, you might want to run away from me.”
I looked at him.
“Can I ask you something?”
“...That.”
Did he not want to answer? What was he talking about, why did he not want to answer?
My eyes, filled with many questions, turned tremblingly toward Belled.
My two hands cupped Belled’s face and turned it toward me.
Rock, bang.
And even as the carriage shook several times, I stared at him.
As if I would continue to watch until Belled answered.
In the end, Belled closed his eyes and opened them.
“...I thought that I wished you could exist endlessly in my endless life.”
“Endless..."
“That would be Beryl too.”
Belled answered without hesitation.
“What if I become a lot different from now?”
“When you ask me what kind of person I love, my answer would change.”
In the way, you’ve changed.
I bit my lip at those words.
“...No matter how much I change?”
Belled answered clearly in a slightly trembling voice.
“Yes, even if I change.”
He answered, patting me on the back.
“I have no intention of letting you go. How much I...”
His words were cut off. I asked carefully.
“...How much?”
Was it a story he didn’t want to tell? After a short silence, he continued.
“If you knew what I was worried about, you might want to run away from me.”
I looked at him.
“Can I ask you something?”
“...That.”
Did he not want to answer? What was he talking about, why did he not want to answer?
My eyes, filled with many questions, turned tremblingly toward Belled.
My two hands cupped Belled’s face and turned it toward me.
Rock, bang.
And even as the carriage shook several times, I stared at him.
As if I would continue to watch until Belled answered.
In the end, Belled closed his eyes and opened them.
“...I thought that I wished you could exist endlessly in my endless life.”
“Endless..."
I suddenly felt my heart tighten again.
Unlike humans who live for a hundred years at most, demons have no set lifespan.
“Yes, endless.”
I seemed to have envied the love between angels and humans at one time.
Reading about their love in the book, I envied the humans in the book.
At least they would be loved until I die. They wouldn’t have to suffer the pain of loss.
But I suddenly realized that my thoughts had changed.
I didn’t like it anymore. I kept thinking about the angel who would be left alone, not the human.
If I leave, what about you?
You who would be left alone? Wouldn’t you be spending too much time alone, feeling the same sense of loss that you had feared?
When I couldn’t continue my thoughts, Belled said.
“That’s why I had a selfish thought.”
He hugged my head and whispered.
“...I wish you were cursed like me.”
My eyes widened at those words.
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