TMD - Chapter 58 < Unrejectable (11) >






“That is...”

I opened my eyes wide for a moment.

Could it be that he did it on purpose?

The reason I hesitated was not only because I was worried that I might have been exposed to something fatal.

Did Marves hate me?

Of course, I knew that I couldn’t be loved by everyone, but I couldn’t help but hesitate.

I didn’t want to lose even one person I had never had, the people who were kind to me.

Especially if it was my fault.

In short, I wanted to be loved by everyone, even though I knew it was nonsense.

“He admitted his guilt.”

Belled opened his mouth. I felt my heart tighten even more at those words.

I let out a short breath and finally asked.

“Was it.. intentional?”

Belled’s gaze turned to me at my words. That short moment seemed to be too long for me.

“No, but the guilt is clear.”

And only after hearing the next words did I let out my breath. Meanwhile, Belled’s eyes, filled with discomfort, narrowed.

“It’s not like he spread a serious disease, so I think it’s better to wait and see. Since you have spent a long time in the temple, he said we should wait and see what kind of effects the disease he created with magic will have.”

There was deep concern in his voice.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll send Marves back to the gates of hell.”

And I felt a chill. The chill wasn’t directed at me.

But I, who trembled slightly, shook my head.

If it wasn’t intentional. And if I was safe, and above all, if he was sorry to me.

“I don’t want him to be punished.”

Then I could forgive him. Belled looked back at me.

“No one would dare blame Beryl even if I sent him back to the gates of hell.”

Wasn’t that attacking the Archduchess? Rather, they would think of me as merciful for letting him live.

But I shook my head. I didn’t want someone I knew to leave. Especially not if he didn’t harbor any hostility toward me.

“If you feel sorry for me, if you admit your guilt, that’s fine.”

Belled watched me quietly, then closed his eyes.

“...How could you live so mercifully?”

It was a mercy that he couldn’t understand.

But my mind was different. Mercy? Rather than that.

“...”

I suddenly felt goosebumps running through my calculating mind.

I didn’t want to send Marves to the gates of hell or punish him. I thought it would be much better for him to stay as he was, as long as he didn’t harbor any hostility toward me, rather than having to adapt to a new person.

Especially since he had made a fatal mistake toward me.

Then, if I made a mistake toward him, or did something wrong, Marves wouldn’t be able to blame me.

Because I wouldn’t leave him for that reason.

I hated myself for thinking such calculating thoughts. I pursed my lips tightly.

“...Marves is waiting for disposal outside the door.”

Belled finally said as if he would follow my wishes.

I looked toward the door and spoke clearly.

“Go away.”

The answer from outside came a beat late.

“Thank you.”

“You’ll wait until I call you again.”

However, Belled did not forget to add a warning to him as if he intended to give him a clear warning.

Then he put my still-cold fingertips into the blanket, pulled the blanket up to my shoulders, and covered me.

“I will follow your wishes, but if you happen to be Marves or other demons...”

He narrowed his eyes for a moment as if choosing his words.

“If you’re being conscious of the gaze, then don’t do that.”

It was clear that he knew about my efforts to adapt among the demons.

However, I don’t know how calculating I am.

I shook my head as I thought about it.

“That’s not it.”

“Then is it the mercy of the saint?”

I shook my head a little more vigorously at Belled’s words.

“That’s even more so.”

Was it a strangely strong denial?

Belled tilted his head slightly and kissed me.

“Then what is it?”

His warm shadow covered me and the man who had taken my breath asked.

“That is...”

“Yes.”

Warmth settled on my forehead again. Even so, Belled did not forget to meet my gaze. As if waiting for an answer.

“Tell me.”

“...”

But I could not bring myself to open my mouth.

“This is, too...”

It seemed calculated. When I was about to close my mouth, Belled laughed.

“You seem anxious as if you did something wrong.”

It was a prick, a stab in the heart. Belled’s smile grew deeper.

“I don’t know what Beryl is thinking,”

Or how she was going to use Marves, but he could not guess.

“Do you think this is a worse idea than the countless things I have done to gain magic power?”

I could not answer because I did not know what those things were.

“I can say no.”

But Belled gave me the conclusion instead. He whispered.

“So tell me. I will hear how bad your idea is.”

He laughed.

“And it’s not a bad thing that you did something for yourself in the land of demons.”

Isn’t it a land where everyone pursues desire?

He whispered that and kissed my forehead again. And his lips, which left behind a soft warmth, brushed my faintly flushed cheek and ear.

Our eyes met very close together.

This man’s ‘persuasion’ always seemed unbearable. However, he never forced anything. That’s why I was willing to be charmed.

“... I thought I had caught Marves’ weakness.” 

So that he wouldn’t unilaterally abandon me no matter what I did wrong.

So that he would think about the fact that I had forgiven him.

Belled burst into laughter at those words.

“This is a big deal.”

My heart skipped a beat again. Was I being too calculating?

However, what Beled was saying was completely different.

“You're already worried about which weakness I should catch.”

I’ve tried to get rid of my weaknesses, but I’ve never tried to reveal them.

I blinked at his words.

“...Yes?”

That’s what he meant. Did I not want to leave?

My hand unconsciously gripped the bedsheet tightly. No, I tried to grab it.

“Ah...”

The muscles on the inside of my wrist felt as if they were going to snap. A groan escaped my lips.

“I’ve been tense the whole time. It’ll hurt everywhere.”

“All the time?”

How long? Belled answered my words.

“About two days.”

I opened my eyes wide at those words.

“...No way, all this time.”

I realized belatedly that Belled was right next to me who might open my eyes at any moment.

“You weren’t here the whole time, were you?”

Belled smiled broadly at those words.

“I guess work has piled up a bit.”

My surprised, speechless face met his smiling face.

Knowing how much work would pile up after just half a day, I didn’t know what to do, so I tightened my grip again. Of course, a small groan escaped me as a bonus.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course.”

However, Belled seemed less worried than me. His fingertips brushed my somewhat dull hair.

“I don’t think it’s time to worry about me, Beryl. You look anxious.”

His gaze fell on my hands which were repeatedly trying to hold the bedsheets.

“...!”

At those words, I immediately recalled the image of the Duke of Orobas from my dream.

However, I soon shook my head.

“I know it’s a dream, so it’s okay.”

This side was like a dream, but surprisingly, this warmth was real.

“It’s really okay.”

After repeating this, Belled closed his eyes as if he felt relieved. I could also see him sighing deeply.

I opened my mouth slightly as I watched him. Why was he relieved? Was he afraid of being separated from me?

...What was the reason for him to do this?

The questions I had always had lingered again.

“Was it such a bad dream?”

Belled asked. I nodded.

“I had a dream of waking up in Orobas.”

At those words, Belled’s gaze turned straight to me.

Ah.

This man knows how my life in Orobas ends.

As expected, his eyes narrowed.

“What did he do?”

He asked in such a low voice, giving me a strange sense of security.

Unlike in Orobas, where no one was on my side, it was a strong feeling of having allies.

I let out a short breath.

In Orobas, there was really no place to go.

The Duke of Orobas insisted on proving my divinity until the end and insisted on satisfying his strange desires.

However, Belled did not force anything on me. Rather, he kept trying to give me something.

‘There is no relationship without a price. I am not a child, don’t you know?’

The reason I was not certain about my relationship with him might have been because of that memory from my previous life.

Because of the Duke of Orobas’ words, if you received something, you had to pay a price.

Do you think I don’t know what life in the temple is like? I know what my ancestors lived there?’

'You're telling me to choose whether to continue living like that or pay me a fair price?'

'Why do you insist on avoiding something that you can enjoy?'

He demanded the price of pleasure only from me. 

When I shut my mouth tightly,

"In Orobas... is this a memory from a previous life?"

Belled whispered. I nodded slightly.

"What did he do?"

Then his voice rang out low.


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