“The last one, the last one?”
“I told you to rest.”
“The maid was pointing her sword at me, but Marge stopped her.”
It was a moving scene even when I thought about it again, so I swallowed my tears and said.
“...She's better than me.”
Rhodnes hummed softly and headed toward the stables outside the mansion. Unlike the Grand Duke, the Count didn’t have a separate dungeon, so it seemed like he had emptied the stables and made a temporary prison. Instead, the security was tight, and as soon as Vincenzo saw me, he asked after me, quietly bowed his head, and disappeared.
I struggled, not wanting Sophie to see me being held by Rhodnes, but Rhodnes obediently let me down. When I opened the creaking door and went in, I saw men already bloodied and lying in a cage, and Sophie was in the innermost cage. Her face had aged by about ten years in the past few days, and when she heard someone’s presence, she crawled over to me, holding onto the wooden bars.
“I, I will tell you everything! I will tell you everything!”
I looked at her silently. We had clearly heard together that the men had tried to kill and annihilate me and Sophie. Sophie must have remembered that moment because she was spewing out words with a desperate intensity.
“The Crown Princess. The Crown Princess ordered me! Doris Castagna! No, now Doris Rontazi. She ordered me! She ordered me to kill you!”
“...What did she order you to do again?”
“That woman, that woman! She told me to harass the dead Grand Duchess, to isolate her in the Grand Duke’s residence! I was only guilty of turning a blind eye to the abuse of the poor Grand Duchess by the wicked maids! And the Grand Duchess died of grief, so you were able to see through her heart in the end! Wasn’t that right?!”
“I, I will tell you everything! I will tell you everything!”
I looked at her silently. We had clearly heard together that the men had tried to kill and annihilate me and Sophie. Sophie must have remembered that moment because she was spewing out words with a desperate intensity.
“The Crown Princess. The Crown Princess ordered me! Doris Castagna! No, now Doris Rontazi. She ordered me! She ordered me to kill you!”
“...What did she order you to do again?”
“That woman, that woman! She told me to harass the dead Grand Duchess, to isolate her in the Grand Duke’s residence! I was only guilty of turning a blind eye to the abuse of the poor Grand Duchess by the wicked maids! And the Grand Duchess died of grief, so you were able to see through her heart in the end! Wasn’t that right?!”
I could hear the sound of Rhodnes' teeth grinding as he watched silently.
“The Grand Duchess went alone, but thanks to her, you were able to become the next Grand Duchess for a time! You must acknowledge my merits as well! Please spare me! Please! It is all thanks to me that you can be so pretty!”
"...Why did Doris order you to harass the dead Grand Duchess?”
“It’s obvious. Jealousy! How many years has it been since that woman dyed her hair blonde and imitated Princess Piretta!”
“Did Doris tell you to kill the Grand Duchess?”
“It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me! I didn’t kill her! She was in a state where it wouldn’t have been strange if she died at any time, and she always lived under the watchful eyes of the maids sent by the imperial family, so it was only natural that she would die of thirst! Doris would have wanted the Grand Duchess to die of loneliness and pain rather than by drinking poison or something.”
I clenched my fists, which were not strong enough. I couldn’t help but feel angry at the fact that it was Doris who had instigated and incited this senseless bullying. There was a world of difference between what I vaguely imagined and what I actually heard.
However, since my heart had already been torn apart by Noevian, I held on steadfastly. At that moment, my body suddenly floated into the air. It was Rhodnes who had somehow managed to hold me in his arms. I thought he was holding on tight, but I guess not. Rhodnes, who had strode into the mansion with such a long and rough stride that it was hard to see the surrounding scenery, showed no sign of fatigue as he climbed up the stairs in the Count’s mansion three or four at a time and brought me back into the bedroom.
As soon as he slammed the door shut, my two feet touched the floor, and he hugged me from behind.
“...If you were going to marry someone else, you should have been happy.”
His beard, which had grown thick, touched my earlobes and the nape of my neck. He had been quietly swallowing his tears the whole time, and eventually, he broke down.
“Did you endure all that talk every moment? Listening to that kind of nonsense from people who thought you were dead...”
My heart, which had already been repeatedly injured and healed, was calmer than I thought, but Rhodnes didn't know what to do as if he had been attacked. The boiling anger turned into tears and soaked my shoulders. I shook my head quietly.
“Not every moment.”
“Lies. From the moment you entered this woman’s body, to the 100 days leading up to the funeral, it was hell for you. I must have contributed to your hell.”
He chewed and spat out countless curses to himself, recalling the times when he was confused about her identity.
“Every moment I feel despair and hopeless. Every time I feel disillusioned with myself for being such a fool...”
I pushed him away, turned around, and smiled, wiping away his distorted eyes.
“It was nice to have someone to tell Adrienne that she wasn’t such a fool.”
I placed my hand on the firm chest of Rhodes, who was still hugging my shoulder. I could feel his heart pounding against my palms.
“...If you were going to marry someone else, you should have been happy.”
His beard, which had grown thick, touched my earlobes and the nape of my neck. He had been quietly swallowing his tears the whole time, and eventually, he broke down.
“Did you endure all that talk every moment? Listening to that kind of nonsense from people who thought you were dead...”
My heart, which had already been repeatedly injured and healed, was calmer than I thought, but Rhodnes didn't know what to do as if he had been attacked. The boiling anger turned into tears and soaked my shoulders. I shook my head quietly.
“Not every moment.”
“Lies. From the moment you entered this woman’s body, to the 100 days leading up to the funeral, it was hell for you. I must have contributed to your hell.”
He chewed and spat out countless curses to himself, recalling the times when he was confused about her identity.
“Every moment I feel despair and hopeless. Every time I feel disillusioned with myself for being such a fool...”
I pushed him away, turned around, and smiled, wiping away his distorted eyes.
“It was nice to have someone to tell Adrienne that she wasn’t such a fool.”
I placed my hand on the firm chest of Rhodes, who was still hugging my shoulder. I could feel his heart pounding against my palms.
“Because there was a fool who thought I was a lovely, wise, and courageous Adrienne... I held on, thinking that I really wanted to be that kind of person, even though it was late.”
The feeling of near death came again, the face of the person I thought of before my eyes. Another deep regret that I buried deep in my heart, thinking that it didn’t matter if I just knew the truth. The boy who was endlessly despairing and frustrated in my fantasy, and the back of the man. I brushed his trembling chest and brushed the scar on the neck of the man who chose death in a world without me.
The feeling of near death came again, the face of the person I thought of before my eyes. Another deep regret that I buried deep in my heart, thinking that it didn’t matter if I just knew the truth. The boy who was endlessly despairing and frustrated in my fantasy, and the back of the man. I brushed his trembling chest and brushed the scar on the neck of the man who chose death in a world without me.
In an instant, a groan poured out of my head. My side was prickling, but I wrapped my arms around his neck with all my strength and looked up at him. Even though he looked more haggard than me, when I saw Rhodnes, who was so pitiful that I was going crazy, I could feel it in my heart without even thinking about what I really wanted.
“I don’t want to be friends either.”
At first, it was impulsive, but when I met his eyes looking down at me with a blank expression, my mind went blank. I gathered all my courage and finally opened my mouth.
“I want to get closer to you too.”
I know it's greedy.
“If you kiss this body, these lips, as you say, I might feel a little sad.”
“Adrienne?”
“I... I treasure you so much, huh. You’ve become more precious to me than before. I really wouldn’t have been able to endure this far without you. I don’t want to lose you either...”
Rhodnes' eyes widened at the unexpected confession.
“But I don’t even know how I died, and I don’t even know who my enemies and friends are. No matter how much you say you’re okay, I’m so worried that I’ll put you in danger again. I still feel reluctant to do anything with you, my precious friend, in Blie’s body... So, can you give me just a little more time?”
I smiled bitterly and tightened my grip around his neck.
“On a day like this... will you understand?”
Rhodes looked down at me for a moment with his eyes wide open. It seemed as if he wanted me to say it again, but my courage ended there.
“Where is the word ‘understanding’?”
He didn't wait any longer and buried his face deep in the nape of my neck as if he were being playful. The hairs on my ears stood on end.
“Since you said that to me... I can’t let you go even if you were to stay in that old hag’s body instead of this one.”
“I don’t want to be friends either.”
At first, it was impulsive, but when I met his eyes looking down at me with a blank expression, my mind went blank. I gathered all my courage and finally opened my mouth.
“I want to get closer to you too.”
I know it's greedy.
“If you kiss this body, these lips, as you say, I might feel a little sad.”
“Adrienne?”
“I... I treasure you so much, huh. You’ve become more precious to me than before. I really wouldn’t have been able to endure this far without you. I don’t want to lose you either...”
Rhodnes' eyes widened at the unexpected confession.
“But I don’t even know how I died, and I don’t even know who my enemies and friends are. No matter how much you say you’re okay, I’m so worried that I’ll put you in danger again. I still feel reluctant to do anything with you, my precious friend, in Blie’s body... So, can you give me just a little more time?”
I smiled bitterly and tightened my grip around his neck.
“On a day like this... will you understand?”
Rhodes looked down at me for a moment with his eyes wide open. It seemed as if he wanted me to say it again, but my courage ended there.
“Where is the word ‘understanding’?”
He didn't wait any longer and buried his face deep in the nape of my neck as if he were being playful. The hairs on my ears stood on end.
“Since you said that to me... I can’t let you go even if you were to stay in that old hag’s body instead of this one.”
"That..."
“You know what, Adrienne?”
Rhodnes' large hand pressed the back of my head against my chest. His heart was pounding hard against my ear as if it was going to burst.
"What?"
“I’m crazier than you think.”
As I pulled away from his body to see his face, his arms immediately wrapped around my waist.
“Just because you can’t even kiss my lips, do you think I’ll give up on you? Even when you were next to someone you couldn’t even touch with your fingertips, I was the one who kept going through the battlefield with my heart still in my throat.”
The light slowly seeped into the mysterious and slightly bewildered face of Rhodnes. It was not at all the face of someone who had heard the absurd words that I would be sad if you kissed me. Rather, it felt strange to see his expression slowly brightening as if a shower called joy had poured down on his head.
“If you want, I’ll shave my head and become a monk or something in a foreign land.”
Unable to contain my overflowing joy, I tried to hit him as if to scold him for saying anything, but as soon as I hit him, Rhodnes grabbed my fist with his big, hot hand. Then he hugged me so tightly that I was worried that my injured side would burst.
"I love you."
Oh, this is what it felt like.
“I love you, Adrienne.”
How did Rhodnes feel when he heard me say I wanted to get closer to him?
***
“I interpreted that diary a bit.”
Rhodnes, who had been mumbling to Adrienne for a while, trying to tell if it was a dream or reality, finally came to his senses and began to talk when the sun was almost setting. He was so overwhelmed by the feeling that someone was lifting his heart into the sky and then slamming it down, then lifting it up again and slamming it down again, that he couldn’t focus on anything, but Adrienne, who was quietly holding him, brought up the topic of the diary, so he couldn’t put it off any longer.
“It wasn’t just about writing about everyday life, it had a lot of proper nouns.”
Adrienne had been wiggling her eyebrows slightly for a few minutes now, indicating that they should be respectful to each other again, so Rhodnes complied without a word.
“Do you really have to say that while holding hands like this?”
“I don’t believe it, what should I do?”
Unlike his polite left hand, he held Adrienne tightly with his right hand as if he were running away, and Adrienne pushed his hand away, feeling a little frustrated. However, as soon as she pushed it away, his face became gloomy like Cowan who had his snacks taken away, and didn’t she have a strange illusion of his invisible ears drooping?
Adrienne’s heart was now very soft towards Rhodnes, as she shook off the hand that was secretly grabbing her from under the table even though no one was watching.
“Anyway, so what?”
Adrienne surrendered to the hand that was slowly reaching out again and held out his hand as if holding a child's rattle. She tried hard not to notice the corners of his mouth rising slightly as she asked back.
“It seemed to be about herbs and reagents and such. The only things I could find using the dictionary available in Ronta were things like hair dye and other trivial things.”
“Hair dye?”
“It’s a medicine that turns your hair black for a few weeks.”
At Rhodnes’s words, which he threw out without thinking, the hand he was holding automatically tightened. Rhodnes hesitated to respond and then narrowed his eyes.
“Is this a medicine you know...? No way?”
Rhodes' gaze turned straight to her luscious hair. Adrienne nodded quietly.
"Ha."
His face, which had been frozen since he heard Adrienne's heart, turned cold.
“You do all sorts of things.”
“My natural hair was blonde.”
Rhodnes's mouth snapped shut. He looked a little surprised.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
Adrienne smiled awkwardly at the slightly disappointed question.
“I didn’t hide it on purpose. I was just too surprised... and changing my hair color isn’t something big.”
“...”
“What’s a little strange is that if I don’t apply the medicine periodically, the hair will instantly return to its original color as soon as it touches water. It’s like magic.”
His straight eyebrows twitched throughout her excuses, but they relaxed at the word 'magic.'
“If there are any other medicinal notes in that diary, we should find out. Prince Ephero is also in the capital, and even if Prince Victor doesn’t know what the herbs are, he should be able to tell you the exact names.”
But, is it normal for an attendant to not show his nose when he has an accident like this? Adrienne suddenly thought of that and rolled her eyes. Silence fell in the room.
“Did Prince Ephero and Lord Victor come to visit you or something?”
“...I don’t know.”
The face of Rhodnes who said such things was not completely unfamiliar.
“Anyway, so what?”
Adrienne surrendered to the hand that was slowly reaching out again and held out his hand as if holding a child's rattle. She tried hard not to notice the corners of his mouth rising slightly as she asked back.
“It seemed to be about herbs and reagents and such. The only things I could find using the dictionary available in Ronta were things like hair dye and other trivial things.”
“Hair dye?”
“It’s a medicine that turns your hair black for a few weeks.”
At Rhodnes’s words, which he threw out without thinking, the hand he was holding automatically tightened. Rhodnes hesitated to respond and then narrowed his eyes.
“Is this a medicine you know...? No way?”
Rhodes' gaze turned straight to her luscious hair. Adrienne nodded quietly.
"Ha."
His face, which had been frozen since he heard Adrienne's heart, turned cold.
“You do all sorts of things.”
“My natural hair was blonde.”
Rhodnes's mouth snapped shut. He looked a little surprised.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
Adrienne smiled awkwardly at the slightly disappointed question.
“I didn’t hide it on purpose. I was just too surprised... and changing my hair color isn’t something big.”
“...”
“What’s a little strange is that if I don’t apply the medicine periodically, the hair will instantly return to its original color as soon as it touches water. It’s like magic.”
His straight eyebrows twitched throughout her excuses, but they relaxed at the word 'magic.'
“If there are any other medicinal notes in that diary, we should find out. Prince Ephero is also in the capital, and even if Prince Victor doesn’t know what the herbs are, he should be able to tell you the exact names.”
But, is it normal for an attendant to not show his nose when he has an accident like this? Adrienne suddenly thought of that and rolled her eyes. Silence fell in the room.
“Did Prince Ephero and Lord Victor come to visit you or something?”
“...I don’t know.”
The face of Rhodnes who said such things was not completely unfamiliar.
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