The whereabouts of the heart (1)
That evening, I went to bed early and tossed and turned for a while.
I need to go to bed early to attend the inauguration ceremony tomorrow, but I can't sleep because Ian's face keeps coming to mind.
"Please."
"..."
"Don't do this."
Was it that you hated my behavior that much?
The image of Ian pushing me away with a pained expression lingered in my mind.
I thought we were close enough to do that. I guess I was just mistaken.
My feelings of disappointment and resentment gradually turned into regret.
"Yeah, no matter how close you are, you can't touch someone's face without permission."
Don't do that.
But what was done was done, and there was no way to turn back the tide.
'Go and apologize even now... Ah. it's too late.'
The clock struck midnight. I was half awake and lay down in bed listlessly.
Suddenly, I remembered the days I spent at the villa.
The day passed quickly as I ate the food Rahon prepared, played chess with Kalit, and chatted with Ian.
No one was alone in the bedroom. We were all crowded together in the small living room, laughing and chatting without realizing the passage of time.
Looking back, I wonder how I lived.
Even though it was all men except me, far from being uncomfortable, we got along really well. Even Nadia wasn't there.
Of course, it was thanks to the consideration of the three men, but among them, Ian's effort was the greatest.
He was by my side every moment.
I didn't even have time to feel uncomfortable because he took care of it before I could ask for help.
It was all Ian's effort, but I didn't realize it at the time.
I just had such pitiful thoughts about whether this is what it would be like to go out and play with friends.
The more I thought about it, the more embarrassed I became and my face became red.
I'd like to apologize to Ian right now, but his departure to Oakwood was tomorrow.
"I'll have to do it when he gets back."
Let's just wait a few days. I muttered with a sigh.
Footsteps were heard outside, coming closer and closer. They were not Nadia's, but a man's.
'It's a time when everyone is sleeping, who is it?'
Is he an employee?
As I was thinking that and trying to calm my nerves, the sound of footsteps stopped in front of the bedroom.
Soon, a small knock was heard.
"Millenia."
"...Lord Kalit?"
The door opened quietly and Kalit came in. He looked as if he had just emerged from sleep, wearing o nly a robe and holding two teacups in one hand.
"Did you wake up because of me?"
"No. I wasn't sleeping either. But what happened..."
"I think I've developed some strange habits at the villa. I get lonely when I drink tea alone."
At the villa, we were together most of the time. It was only about ten days, but it was enough time to get used to having someone next to you.
"I think I know what you mean. I used to do that too."
"Oh, we get along. Here, I have some tea that's just chilled enough to drink. Would you be interested?"
"Yes."
Kalit gave me a cup of tea and sat down on the chair next to the bed. I asked him carefully as he quietly savored the scent of the tea.
"Why are you still awake? You must be tired if you have to leave early tomorrow."
"Well, is it because I'm anxious?"
"Are you nervous about the upcoming competition?"
"Huh? Why am I nervous?"
Judging from his puzzled expression, it seems he isn't losing sleep over the tension surrounding the upcoming clash with the monster.
Well, Kalit doesn't have the personality to do that.
"Then...do you have any other concerns?"
Kalit looked into the teacup quietly.
"I've never tried to trust anyone. I've never felt the need to, and I've never felt like I had to."
"..."
"But for the first time, I found someone I wanted to trust."
"You're right," said Kallit, looking at me.
"The more you help me, the more anxious I become."
The face, without its languid smile, looks as dry and doll-like.
The true face of Kalit, which I encountered without any preparation, was heavier and colder than I expected.
"Are you afraid that I might change my mind and support the Third Prince?"
"No, I think I'll just finish what I have to do and then just leave."
"I don't know why you would think that, but... As long as Kalit doesn't distance yourself from me, that won't happen."
If he wanted to be my friend for Iife, he could have.
How many sins have I committed against him in my past life, that he can't even accept that?
"You know I'm sick. I can't trust anyone without solid evidence."
Kalit paused, his eyebrows furrowed. A beautiful fake smile spread across his face once more.
"So, I'm looking for a way. A way to tie you down so you can't leave me."
I was a little taken aback by the unexpected words. Isn't it a little strange to force a friend to stay by your side?
This must also be a remnant of his unfortunate childhood. I answered playfully, feeling sorry for him.
"I see you've come to declare war. So all I have to do now is surrender?"
"No, don't surrender."
"Yes?"
He took the teacup from my hand, placed it quietly on the table, and bowed his head to me.
"If I catch you, you'll never be able to escape."
"..."
"Run away."
Creepy.
In an instant, the hairs on my entire body stood on end. It felt like a warning that running away would be useless.
"Good night, Millenia."
He gently cupped my cheek and walked out of the bedroom.
I couldn't move until I couldn't hear his footsteps.
***
Kalit chuckled as soon as he emerged from Millenia's bedroom.
The absent-minded face of Millenia that he had seen as he came out flashed before his eyes.
'You're cute.'
She was pretty cute, so he was embarrassed. He's never felt love for anyone since he was born.
Kalit suddenly touched the corner of his mouth. His lips, which were forming a natural curve unlike usual, felt awkward.
When was the last time he laughed without any calculations like he did now? Kalit couldn't remember.
That's why he keeps getting greedy. Because she allows him to be himself.
As Kalit arrived at the room, smiling, I heard a muffled voice behind him.
"What were you doing in Millenia's bedroom?"
From the moment he stepped out of the bedroom, he knew someone was watching him.
He didn't know that was Rahon.
Kalit turned around with a polite, mask-like smile.
"You haven't slept yet?"
"I asked you what you did with Millenia."
"I talked to her."
"At this time?"
"Weren't we together at the villa even later?"
"This isn't a villa. You're not the one who doesn't know that, are you doing this on purpose?"
"Well, I guess I did think it would be nice to have a witness."
As Kalit answered vaguely, Rahon's eyes became even colder.
"I think you are trying to take advantage of Millenia's weakness, but she's barely escaped a scandal. Don't let another scandal get her involved."
"Are you afraid that rumors will spread that Millenia has abandoned the younger brother and is in a romantic relationship with the older brother?"
"..."
"Rahon, that rumor spread a long time ago."
There were many rumors about this in the capital because of the incident where Kalit went to meet Millenia who was leaving for Eldern.
It's been over a month already and things have calmed down a bit, but isn't it too late to be worrying about that now?
Kalit stared straight at Rahon. The silver-gray eyes that had been warm in front of Millenia had grown cold.
"Wouldn't it be better to reflect on your own actions before pointing out others?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You always look at Millenia whenever you get a chance."
"..."
Rahon shut his mouth.
I knew it.
Kalit laughed.
There were too many men around Millenia.
And that's not all. The way they treated her also went far beyond friendship.
"You should just close your eyes instead of pointing it out to me. It's pretty unpleasant."
Rahon smiled with his lips twisted without any expression.
"Yeah, let's say I did. But it's kind of funny to hear you say that."
"What is so funny about our guardian?"
"You are no different."
"..."
Kalit's eyes wavered for a moment.
'I looked at Millenia every chance I got? And with the same eyes as them?'
He had been thinking of cleaning up the males wearing his friend's mask around Millenia, but he never thought of himself as one of them.
Rahon's plump lips curled into a sneer.
"Don't be too hateful towards your own kind."
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