The last time she checked, John's disgust level was 60.
There was no longer any reason to rush home, so now was the time to really squeeze out John's sympathy and lower his disgust.
Finally, Odette felt something being forced out of her lungs.
“Cough, cough!”
As expected, a cough came out. The right hand that had been covering her mouth was soaked with blood.
When Odette checked John's expression, he was completely lost in thought, just as she had expected.
'As expected. Just as I guessed.'
“Damn, are you okay? Lie down right now. Do you even realize that you’re sick? You’re sick right now. You’re sick. Just lie down on the bed.”
The way he hurriedly laid her down without answering was not like John, who always followed the rules and acted in a disciplined manner.
How can I deepen his guilt? How can I squeeze out more compassion?
There was no need to think long.
“I’m sorry. I soiled the blanket. I’ll clean up the blood. Do you know where the laundry room is-”
If this were the Count's residence, it was enough to imagine how she should have acted.
John seemed greatly shocked by the weak and cowardly voice that came from Odette.
"You..."
John looked as if he had lost his country. As if he had lost the axis of his life that he had believed in so fervently.
“Yes... Yes... Lie down for now. Please.”
Odette pretended not to hear his trembling voice, sat up, and picked up the handkerchief lying nearby.
And she rubbed the blanket hard to wipe away the blood.
“...”
John stared at her, seemingly at a loss for words.
“Stop it, Odette. Please. Do you know how pale your face is right now? You just vomited blood. You can’t move like that.”
It's already worked. 'Odette'.
Because it's a title she heard when she first met John three years ago.
During the few times they met after that, he called her Lady Odette, but from the time their relationship deteriorated, John never called her by her name again.
Even though she was about to die, he still called her by her last name.
Even though the situation was urgent, it was quite an encouraging achievement to have her name called.
“It’s not like vomiting blood is that big of a deal. How can I get the maid to clean up something this dirty? Please let me clean it up myself.”
At her words, John flinched and his expression became stern. Then as if his neck was tight, he loosened his tie and snatched the handkerchief from me.
“What’s dirty? Why is your blood dirty?”
John's voice became even lower as if he was angry.
“How can you get some rest? Should I just tie your arms to the bed?”
"Yes?"
...Wait a minute, isn’t this more than I expected?
“You don’t think I can do it? If you don’t want to be tied to the bed, just lie still.”
As soon as he said that, he grabbed her shoulders and laid her down on the bed, then nervously pulled at the rope.
As the palace servant came running, John gave an order very viciously.
“Bring me some warm water and medicine! Quickly!”
Then as if he was angry, he ran out of the room with quick steps, and then suddenly came back carrying a new white blanket.
'Eung...?'
Odette was left dumbfounded by the completely unexpected situation.
'No, I was just trying to act embarrassed, I didn't really want to be embarrassed.'
But John, determined to make her feel embarrassed, started doing the work of changing the bed sheets himself like a maid would do.
It all happened so quickly that in a few seconds, she was confused, a new blanket was already on the bed.
'That blanket seems pretty heavy, but how did you get there at that speed... Ah, it was a transcendent being.'
Oh my God, now he's going to the laundry room with a bloody blanket?
Even judging by the momentum of the guy, it looked like he was going to suck it with his own hands.
Actually, John doesn't know that she's staying in that mansion to get revenge on the Count's family.
Sion probably didn't report the details of the transaction.
Of course, she had no intention of telling John about revenge.
'If I talk to an upright person, the hatred will only increase.'
He'll listen to some sound advice.
“It’s difficult, Your Highness. If I, an unmarried woman, were to stay in the Crown Prince’s Palace, my already poor reputation would fall even further.”
“Then... under the protection of the Empress’s Palace?”
“It’s okay, Your Highness. I don’t want the protection of the royal family.”
Odette shook her head with a smile. John washed his face dry as if he was frustrated by her rejection.
“Odette, I understand that you do not want to answer me about the Count’s business.”
After a brief silence, John spoke with a heavy sense of responsibility in his voice.
“...So just tell me this. Is there anything I can do to help you? No matter how small it is, it will do.”
John's blue eyes stared straight at her.
Those are the eyes of a knight. Eyes that would take off their shoes and run away at any moment if you answered 'yes.' Odette shook her head.
“No. There is nothing Your Highness can help me with.”
Now was the time to add to the guilt rather than ease it.
There was no point in getting help from John now. Whatever John could do for her wouldn't be worth the guilt he would feel in the future.
'The guilt of not chasing me even if you realize I'm fake. The guilt of hesitating for a moment even if you feel the murderous intent to kill me due to the 61-fold inflated disgust.'
Despite her firm answer, John tried to say something, but at that moment, with perfect timing, a whoosh- a sound of water pouring was heard.
It was the sound of a giant fountain gushing outside the window.
“...”
“...”
It was a crystal fountain in the garden created for balls during the summer social season.
During balls, the fountain would be filled with cool drinks to cool off the hot nights.
It seemed like they were test-running the fountain in advance of the social season that would begin in a few days.
'It's an almost social season.'
Even though Odette was watching the rehearsal with her own eyes, it didn't feel real. In her last life, there was no social ball this summer.
As the Crown Prince's rampage became increasingly serious, the palace was in no position to host a ball.
Her mother, who missed the Empress's salon, will definitely attend this ball without her father, and Odette will have to follow her.
Odette spoke to John, her gaze fixed on the splendid scenery outside the window created by the fountain.
“Oh. There’s one thing. Something you can help me with.”
In a slightly lighter tone.
“Please hate me a little less, Your Highness.”
Odette smiled at him, recalling the disgust level of 60. He just stared at her without saying a word. In silence.
“...Odette.”
She answered plainly.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“I didn’t know. You... lived in such a hell.”
His voice sounded strangled. His sunken blue eyes were reminiscent of the deep sea.
“If I had known, I wouldn’t have left you alone. You were so small. I would have done whatever it took to save you.”
“I know. Your Highness, as soon as you found out I was being abused, you would have tried to rescue me from that house.”
“I know it’s very late, but even now-”
“You can hate me without shame if I am not a victim of abuse.”
As if she had hit the nail on the head, John closed his mouth to answer. Then, his expression soon turned into one of pain.
Even though the moral law held him back, he felt an inevitable disgust towards Odette. And then he felt guilty about her again.
'It's late, but even now'.
In a past life, it might have been okay, but in this life, it's help that's worse than nothing.
“Salvation that comes too late is no salvation at all. Your Highness, I no longer wait for someone to take me out of hell. I don’t need it.”
“...”
“The only way Your Highness can help me is to hate me less.”
This was true. Odette not blaming John. She's just saying that his low disgust level is desperately needed.
“...”
John remained silent, seemingly lost in thought.
She tried to watch him until he answered, but she couldn't help but look away from John. Her eyes were slowly closing.
“I’m not asking you not to hate me, I’m asking you to hate me less. Is that so hard...?”
Maybe because she was sleepy, the words she was thinking just blurted out.
“Odette.”
John called her, but she was too tired because she had vomited blood again and was feeling weak.
Odette fell into a deep sleep. She heard John mumbling something, but she couldn't hear him clearly.
And when she opened her eyes, Odette was already in her room in the mansion.
She had a feeling that John had brought her here. The guilt he felt today would have been reduced to that degree.
She didn't particularly regret not being able to confirm the hate.
As much as John's deep silence, she was certain that she had left a deep impression on him today.
There was no longer any reason to rush home, so now was the time to really squeeze out John's sympathy and lower his disgust.
Finally, Odette felt something being forced out of her lungs.
“Cough, cough!”
As expected, a cough came out. The right hand that had been covering her mouth was soaked with blood.
When Odette checked John's expression, he was completely lost in thought, just as she had expected.
'As expected. Just as I guessed.'
“Damn, are you okay? Lie down right now. Do you even realize that you’re sick? You’re sick right now. You’re sick. Just lie down on the bed.”
The way he hurriedly laid her down without answering was not like John, who always followed the rules and acted in a disciplined manner.
How can I deepen his guilt? How can I squeeze out more compassion?
There was no need to think long.
“I’m sorry. I soiled the blanket. I’ll clean up the blood. Do you know where the laundry room is-”
If this were the Count's residence, it was enough to imagine how she should have acted.
John seemed greatly shocked by the weak and cowardly voice that came from Odette.
"You..."
John looked as if he had lost his country. As if he had lost the axis of his life that he had believed in so fervently.
“Yes... Yes... Lie down for now. Please.”
Odette pretended not to hear his trembling voice, sat up, and picked up the handkerchief lying nearby.
And she rubbed the blanket hard to wipe away the blood.
“...”
John stared at her, seemingly at a loss for words.
“Stop it, Odette. Please. Do you know how pale your face is right now? You just vomited blood. You can’t move like that.”
It's already worked. 'Odette'.
Because it's a title she heard when she first met John three years ago.
During the few times they met after that, he called her Lady Odette, but from the time their relationship deteriorated, John never called her by her name again.
Even though she was about to die, he still called her by her last name.
Even though the situation was urgent, it was quite an encouraging achievement to have her name called.
“It’s not like vomiting blood is that big of a deal. How can I get the maid to clean up something this dirty? Please let me clean it up myself.”
At her words, John flinched and his expression became stern. Then as if his neck was tight, he loosened his tie and snatched the handkerchief from me.
“What’s dirty? Why is your blood dirty?”
John's voice became even lower as if he was angry.
“How can you get some rest? Should I just tie your arms to the bed?”
"Yes?"
...Wait a minute, isn’t this more than I expected?
“You don’t think I can do it? If you don’t want to be tied to the bed, just lie still.”
As soon as he said that, he grabbed her shoulders and laid her down on the bed, then nervously pulled at the rope.
As the palace servant came running, John gave an order very viciously.
“Bring me some warm water and medicine! Quickly!”
Then as if he was angry, he ran out of the room with quick steps, and then suddenly came back carrying a new white blanket.
'Eung...?'
Odette was left dumbfounded by the completely unexpected situation.
'No, I was just trying to act embarrassed, I didn't really want to be embarrassed.'
But John, determined to make her feel embarrassed, started doing the work of changing the bed sheets himself like a maid would do.
It all happened so quickly that in a few seconds, she was confused, a new blanket was already on the bed.
'That blanket seems pretty heavy, but how did you get there at that speed... Ah, it was a transcendent being.'
Oh my God, now he's going to the laundry room with a bloody blanket?
Even judging by the momentum of the guy, it looked like he was going to suck it with his own hands.
Odette was embarrassed and tried to dissuade John.
“Just a moment. Your Highness, there is no need to do this-”
“Before I was the Crown Prince, I was just a soldier. Just think of me as a soldier and serve you.”
Are you crazy, a mere soldier? You're an admiral in the Navy. How can you say things that would make real soldiers go crazy?
“Don’t you disagree? You are the Crown Prince before you are a soldier. You weren’t born a soldier...”
“That or that.”
“No, Your Highness. I really don't need you to serve me-”
“Fine. I’d rather clean it up myself than hear people say your blood is dirty.”
But despite her active dissuasion, he showed off his military experience by arranging the blanket with a perfect knife angle and leaving the room.
His bed-making skills were so good that even the most skilled maids couldn't keep up with him.
“....”
What is this? This isn't the flow I wanted?
When she came to, she was covered in a new, fluffy blanket that wasn't stained with a single drop of blood.
Because when John came back after finally finishing organizing, he forced her to lie down.
'Come to think of it... Johan was the type to use his body when he felt guilty.'
“Um. Uh, yes... Thank you.”
"It's okay."
John frowned and sat down in the chair next to the bed, crossing his arms.
“Do you really have to go back to the Count’s house? It seems like they don’t even serve proper meals there.”
"Yes?"
“Those damn bastards only take the most precious things in the empire because they are the Purifier’s family... but the Purifier herself is malnourished and has tuberculosis.”
“...”
“Come to the Crown Prince’s Palace. You will receive protection from the Count, and I will give you anything you want.”
“Just a moment. Your Highness, there is no need to do this-”
“Before I was the Crown Prince, I was just a soldier. Just think of me as a soldier and serve you.”
Are you crazy, a mere soldier? You're an admiral in the Navy. How can you say things that would make real soldiers go crazy?
“Don’t you disagree? You are the Crown Prince before you are a soldier. You weren’t born a soldier...”
“That or that.”
“No, Your Highness. I really don't need you to serve me-”
“Fine. I’d rather clean it up myself than hear people say your blood is dirty.”
But despite her active dissuasion, he showed off his military experience by arranging the blanket with a perfect knife angle and leaving the room.
His bed-making skills were so good that even the most skilled maids couldn't keep up with him.
“....”
What is this? This isn't the flow I wanted?
When she came to, she was covered in a new, fluffy blanket that wasn't stained with a single drop of blood.
Because when John came back after finally finishing organizing, he forced her to lie down.
'Come to think of it... Johan was the type to use his body when he felt guilty.'
“Um. Uh, yes... Thank you.”
"It's okay."
John frowned and sat down in the chair next to the bed, crossing his arms.
“Do you really have to go back to the Count’s house? It seems like they don’t even serve proper meals there.”
"Yes?"
“Those damn bastards only take the most precious things in the empire because they are the Purifier’s family... but the Purifier herself is malnourished and has tuberculosis.”
“...”
“Come to the Crown Prince’s Palace. You will receive protection from the Count, and I will give you anything you want.”
Actually, John doesn't know that she's staying in that mansion to get revenge on the Count's family.
Sion probably didn't report the details of the transaction.
Of course, she had no intention of telling John about revenge.
'If I talk to an upright person, the hatred will only increase.'
He'll listen to some sound advice.
“It’s difficult, Your Highness. If I, an unmarried woman, were to stay in the Crown Prince’s Palace, my already poor reputation would fall even further.”
“Then... under the protection of the Empress’s Palace?”
“It’s okay, Your Highness. I don’t want the protection of the royal family.”
Odette shook her head with a smile. John washed his face dry as if he was frustrated by her rejection.
“Odette, I understand that you do not want to answer me about the Count’s business.”
After a brief silence, John spoke with a heavy sense of responsibility in his voice.
“...So just tell me this. Is there anything I can do to help you? No matter how small it is, it will do.”
John's blue eyes stared straight at her.
Those are the eyes of a knight. Eyes that would take off their shoes and run away at any moment if you answered 'yes.' Odette shook her head.
“No. There is nothing Your Highness can help me with.”
Now was the time to add to the guilt rather than ease it.
There was no point in getting help from John now. Whatever John could do for her wouldn't be worth the guilt he would feel in the future.
'The guilt of not chasing me even if you realize I'm fake. The guilt of hesitating for a moment even if you feel the murderous intent to kill me due to the 61-fold inflated disgust.'
Despite her firm answer, John tried to say something, but at that moment, with perfect timing, a whoosh- a sound of water pouring was heard.
It was the sound of a giant fountain gushing outside the window.
“...”
“...”
It was a crystal fountain in the garden created for balls during the summer social season.
During balls, the fountain would be filled with cool drinks to cool off the hot nights.
It seemed like they were test-running the fountain in advance of the social season that would begin in a few days.
'It's an almost social season.'
Even though Odette was watching the rehearsal with her own eyes, it didn't feel real. In her last life, there was no social ball this summer.
As the Crown Prince's rampage became increasingly serious, the palace was in no position to host a ball.
Her mother, who missed the Empress's salon, will definitely attend this ball without her father, and Odette will have to follow her.
Odette spoke to John, her gaze fixed on the splendid scenery outside the window created by the fountain.
“Oh. There’s one thing. Something you can help me with.”
In a slightly lighter tone.
“Please hate me a little less, Your Highness.”
Odette smiled at him, recalling the disgust level of 60. He just stared at her without saying a word. In silence.
“...Odette.”
She answered plainly.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“I didn’t know. You... lived in such a hell.”
His voice sounded strangled. His sunken blue eyes were reminiscent of the deep sea.
“If I had known, I wouldn’t have left you alone. You were so small. I would have done whatever it took to save you.”
“I know. Your Highness, as soon as you found out I was being abused, you would have tried to rescue me from that house.”
“I know it’s very late, but even now-”
“You can hate me without shame if I am not a victim of abuse.”
As if she had hit the nail on the head, John closed his mouth to answer. Then, his expression soon turned into one of pain.
Even though the moral law held him back, he felt an inevitable disgust towards Odette. And then he felt guilty about her again.
'It's late, but even now'.
In a past life, it might have been okay, but in this life, it's help that's worse than nothing.
“Salvation that comes too late is no salvation at all. Your Highness, I no longer wait for someone to take me out of hell. I don’t need it.”
“...”
“The only way Your Highness can help me is to hate me less.”
This was true. Odette not blaming John. She's just saying that his low disgust level is desperately needed.
“...”
John remained silent, seemingly lost in thought.
She tried to watch him until he answered, but she couldn't help but look away from John. Her eyes were slowly closing.
“I’m not asking you not to hate me, I’m asking you to hate me less. Is that so hard...?”
Maybe because she was sleepy, the words she was thinking just blurted out.
“Odette.”
John called her, but she was too tired because she had vomited blood again and was feeling weak.
Odette fell into a deep sleep. She heard John mumbling something, but she couldn't hear him clearly.
And when she opened her eyes, Odette was already in her room in the mansion.
She had a feeling that John had brought her here. The guilt he felt today would have been reduced to that degree.
She didn't particularly regret not being able to confirm the hate.
As much as John's deep silence, she was certain that she had left a deep impression on him today.
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