IDMH - Chapter 105

As we came outside after the short memorial service, white snow fell down on our heads.

Is it snowing again? 

Fortunately, it doesn't seem to be pouring down heavily, but you never know.

Even if a snowflake is small now, it can grow bigger over time.

I was standing at the entrance, staring blankly up at the sky, when I felt a presence.

I looked over and saw a man walking towards me with an umbrella.

It was Perdes. The manager also spotted him, smiled happily, and said,

“You’re here again today. As I told you earlier, you always come at this time...”

I listened to the manager's story with one ear, let it go out the other, and looked at Perdes.

His large, wide-stepping footprints were left right next to my obvious footprints in the middle of the road.

“As expected, it was Young Lady.”

Perdes, who had closed the remaining distance in one breath, tilted his umbrella over my head and asked.

“Have you come to see your father?”

“Yes. Has Mr. Perdes come to see my father too?”

I already knew this when I heard from the manager, but I asked him deliberately because I wanted to hear the truth from his own mouth.

“Yeah. I also wanted to say hello to Duke Leopold for the first time in a while...”

“I heard from the caretaker that Mr. Perdes leaves chrysanthemums in front of my father’s grave every morning.”

“...”

Perdes paused, avoided my gaze, and apologized.

"Sorry."

“I should be the one being thankful, so why are you apologizing?”

“I see.”

He scratched his head, feeling slightly awkward.

I never thought that Perdes would do something like this for a reward, but seeing it for myself made me even more grateful.

“Thank you, Perdes.”

When I expressed my feelings honestly and without lies, Perdes smiled faintly.

"You're welcome."

If he had denied it, saying it was nothing and that he didn't need to be thankful, it would have been burdensome. But when he accepted it plainly, my mind became much more at ease.

I looked up at Perdes, who had grown taller in the time I hadn't seen him.

I didn't realize it yesterday because I was wearing high heels that felt like they would break my ankles, but when I took them off, I could definitely feel that he had grown taller.

His appearance has also become more handsome than before, but fortunately, perhaps because he is an outsider, he does not resemble the Emperor.

The golden eyes were just like the Emperor's... but that's a characteristic of the royal family, so there's nothing that can be done about it.

The color of his eyes, which were a bit cloudy when he was young, became clearer as he got older, and he was even more reminiscent of an Emperor.

“...”

So, without realizing it, I clenched my fists in nervousness. My heart was pounding.

“Young Lady?”

Perdes asked worriedly after seeing me like that.

"Are you okay?"

I bit my lower lip and then answered.

"It's okay."

“Your complexion doesn’t look so good.”

There was worry in his golden eyes.

Those eyes reminded me of the Emperor who pretended to be worried about me and forced me to marry his son.

The two people were not the same person, and I tried hard to deny that I was imagining such things.

The illusion, which was created by complex emotions such as fear and revenge, did not easily disappear.

“I think you're breaking out in a cold sweat.”

When Perdes reached out his hand to my forehead, I unconsciously shrugged my shoulders and stepped back.

“...”

Then Perdes withdrew his hand with a very hurt expression.

I was equally confused.

I had no intention of avoiding his hand, but it was a reflexive action as I thought of the Emperor.

We need to resolve this before there are any unnecessary misunderstandings.

I thought so in my head, but I didn't know what to do.

I can't explain it in detail because his eyes resemble the Emperor.

If I said that, I thought Perdes would be hurt more.

An awkward silence fell between us, with me remaining silent as well.

The person who broke the silence was, unexpectedly, the manager.

“It’s very cold outside, so please come up to the mansion and have a warm breakfast.”

“...”

At those words, Perdes glanced at me, handed the umbrella to the manager, and went into the building.

I was told to go to the mansion, but as I entered the building, the manager looked at me and Perdes alternately, seemingly at a loss.

I let out a long sigh and took the umbrella the manager was holding.

“It’s okay, just follow Lord Perdes.”

"Young Lady...”

“It’s really okay, so you can go.”

The manager hesitated for a moment before entering the building.

I tilted my umbrella back and looked up at the sky. The snowflakes were getting bigger.

I thought the snow would stop soon, but it didn't.

By the way, around this time, it started snowing heavily again and the train service was suspended.

Then, thinking that Chernosser would not be able to return to the palace, I returned to the mansion, thinking that I should send him back before that.

***

It was about an hour later that I met Perdes again.

I was about to go to the restaurant to have breakfast.

I looked at him with a bit of surprise because it wasn't a coincidence that I happened to meet him in passing, but that it was Perdes who came to see me.

“What’s going on?”

"This."

The box that Perdes handed over contained the key to the office and the family seal.

“I came to return it.”

"You could have just asked a servant to do this...”

“If something happens like that, it’ll be a big problem.”

That said, I didn't think he would come in person because of what happened earlier.

I thought it would be faster if I went to find it first, or if it would take a long time for it to come, but he came first.

I was grateful, but I also felt ashamed of myself for thinking of him as an Emperor.

“Are you busy right now?”

I really need to give a proper explanation and apologize.

“If you’re not busy, would you like to have breakfast together?”

Perdes looked at me, a little surprised by my suggestion.

Oh, by the way...

“Is it morning training time now?”

Perdes continued to receive swordsmanship training from Sir Aldor even after I left for the Academy.

I heard that although he has no talent and his skills are improving very slowly, he has mastered the basics thanks to his consistent efforts for over two years.

Anyway, it's morning training time, and he must have come here to bring this.

“Let’s go quickly.”

Perdes never missed a morning training session, rain or shine, even when he was sick.

But it doesn't make sense for you to leave because of me, Perdes shook his head as I pushed him away.

“Yes. Let’s have breakfast together.”

“But you have to go to morning training.”

“It’s okay to miss a day or so.”

Is this really okay?

As I looked at him suspiciously, Perdes grabbed my arm and then pulled his hand away in shock.

“Sorry. I caught it without realizing it.”

This must be because I unintentionally avoided his hand earlier.

He's smiling and pretending everything's okay, but he's still hurt.

Well, I'm sure I'll be hurt too.

No one wouldn't feel hurt when the person who had been dancing tightly around you like they were hugging you until yesterday suddenly started avoiding you.

It was a misunderstanding that arose because of me, so it was right for me to resolve it.

"It's okay."

I thought it would be better to show it through action rather than just expressing it in words, so I took his hand.

Very subtly so that I can push you away if I feel uncomfortable or don't like it.

“...”

Perdes opened his eyes wide in surprise at the sudden contact but did not push away my hand.

Instead, he put his hand between my fingers and smiled, intertwining them.

“I’m hungry, so let’s go eat breakfast.”

***

It was dangerous to carry the seal and key around all the time, so I left them in the bedroom and headed to the dining room with Perdes.

“You’re late.”

Then Chernosser appeared, sitting at the head table, eating breakfast.

Why is he here?

I looked at him, a little bewildered, as I had never heard of Chernosser having breakfast in a restaurant.

Perdes asked Chernosser, his expression noticeably displeased.

“Why are you here, brother?”

As Perdes emphasized the word “brother,” Chernosser’s eyebrows narrowed for a moment.

Chernosser wiped his mouth with a napkin and answered calmly.

“You speak as if I have come to a place I cannot come to.”

“That’s not it, but I asked because it seemed pitiful to see you eating alone.”

"What?"

Chernosser was furious at the blatant provocation.

As his loud shouts echoed throughout the restaurant, the servants looked at the two of them, fidgeting.

“Both of you, stop it.”

As the saying goes, when whales fight, shrimps get their backs broken, so I mediated because if two people fought, innocent servants would suffer.

“I’ll be eating in my room, so bring it to my room.”

I didn't want to eat face-to-face with Chernosser, so I tried to go back to my room, but Chernosser started to bark.

“Why do you insist on going back to your room when you’ve come this far, Young Lady? Is it because I’m uncomfortable?”

Then Perdes twisted his lips and asked Chernosser a question.

“Why do you ask when you already know?”

“You little brat...”

Chernosser was about to say something in anger, but then closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

If it were his original personality, he would have overturned the table and left, but has he become wise?

Considering that he went abroad to study, caused an accident, and came back after only half a year, I don't think that's right.

“Let’s go now, Young Lady.”

“Where are you going?”

As Perdes wrapped his arm around my shoulder and tried to turn around, Chernosser snapped at me.

“Sit down, I have something to say.”

“I have nothing to say to you, brother.”

During this time, the reason he kept calling Chernosser "brother" was not because he really thought of him as his brother, but because he wanted to make him angry.

In fact, every time Perdes said "brother," Chernosser's eyebrows gradually narrowed.

But perhaps because he had learned patience, Chernosser did not get angry and instead forced a smile and said:

“Should you sit down anyway? What I’m going to say from now on is a message from His Majesty the Emperor.”

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