"No."
Even after hearing the short and clear answer, I could not accept it.
Something hot still throbbed in my small fist held in his hand.
I was wrapped in a blanket, along with a cloak, that Kaian had carefully covered me with in case I was cold.
"No... What?”
I hoped that Kaian would say, 'It was a joke.'
He was always teasing me, but he was sincere.
But there was no word of waiting.
In my head, the things he said on impulse and the things he wanted to say but couldn't be mixed together in a jumbled mess.
"Why? Why do you say you don’t like me?”
Then, the only words that finally came out were an argument.
“You saved my life.”
“Then should I have let you die? I should have said it. I won’t have to live with the disgrace of having to bury my bride as soon as I get married.”
“I said I didn’t need it, but you bought me a bunch of presents. Jewelry and dresses.”
“They are necessary to maintain the dignity of the Duchess of Temnes.”
The body temperature felt in the handheld was warm.
However, I felt cold, as if I had been driven out naked into the windy wilderness.
“You fed me every day, held me, and put me to sleep.”
“It’s annoying, but wouldn’t it be better than having Vermont’s daughter suffer from insomnia and starve to death in my house?”
“Kaian.”
I unconsciously clung to his arm.
“You don’t hate me, do you?”
“Does not hating the same thing as liking it?”
"Ah...”
Feeling helpless, I let go of his arm that I was desperately clinging to.
Actually, I didn't really know what he thought of me.
Didn't he worry and think about his work countless times?
The man who held me every night often bought me gifts, but he never once asked me what I liked or what I wanted.
I was grateful for what he gave me and hoped that if I received it and watered it, it would grow as I gave it and that it would sway as the wind blows and smile like a flower in full bloom.
I guessed that it would be different from my own feelings, as I felt excited and happy just sitting side by side with him.
I thought that was why I couldn't talk.
I even thought there was no need to say it.
'Once I know his heart, then what?'
Will anything change?
Whether Kaian liked me or not, we were a couple and I was the Duchess of Temnes.
Still, I wanted to speak in the end.
I wanted him to know what I was feeling for the first time in my life.
Finally, I understood the fear and burden I felt when I first married into the Temnes family.
Even if I die, I cannot escape his side.
I will be buried in the catacombs of Temnes Castle.
Even if I never win his heart for the rest of my life.
“I don’t want to ruin my daily life. Even if it’s a messy marriage like this.”
Kaian said.
“Wouldn’t it be tiring to spend the day in the same house with your enemy?”
He was a frighteningly rational and wise man.
On the one hand, he was also very selfish.
That the favors he had shown me during this time were not for me. He said it was for his comfort.
I faced Kaian.
Unlike myself, who seemed like my whole body was broken and a mess, he looked like his usual face.
I don't want to believe that he doesn't have feelings for me, but with time I will be able to accept it. But not now.
'In the same house with the enemy?'
That alone touched my antipathy.
“I am not your enemy. Me too... I'm Temnes.”
He says that if anything happens, I'm in Temnes, not Vermont.
“But you're Vermont.”
At moments like this, I am said to be the enemy's daughter.
As far as I could remember, there was no one other than my parents who had given me this much warmth.
I know that it is impossible to get back the feeling of love as much as it is given.
Nevertheless, I was weak in his affections and did not want to lose the warmth he had planted in my heart by feeding me and putting me to sleep, so I was even more scared.
One day, when I was waiting for my death, I felt lonely leaning on my enemy, so I wished that he would be by my side.
Now that I knew how passionately I could hug him, I felt like I could never be as lonely as I used to be.
I don’t know where I sit, but I know where I fly.
“I can’t trust you, Claudel.”
“I’m serious. I am."
Claudel was scared.
It seemed like the day when Kaian treated me kindly would not come starting tomorrow.
'You shouldn't tell me.'
Regret came flooding back.
I said to myself about his condition, 'I don't know when my swollen heart will explode,' but I never thought I would have to endure such a sad feeling.
Sad?
Or is it sad?
Is it sad?
In short, indefinable pain passed through my bruised heart one after another.
“How can I make you trust me?”
In the meantime, I couldn't give up.
I was too young to live my whole life hoping for my hopeless husband's heart.
“Have a baby.”
I felt like the blood was draining from my body.
"Yes. I might believe it after giving birth to an heir. I hope you try.”
I felt a sense of déjà vu.
'It's definitely happened somewhere before...?'
As I searched through my memories, something from early night came to mind.
'Whether you become Claudel Queen Temnes depends on your efforts tonight. I hope you try.'
From the beginning, I said, the relationship between me and him was not fair.
I even thought there was no need to say it.
'Once I know his heart, then what?'
Will anything change?
Whether Kaian liked me or not, we were a couple and I was the Duchess of Temnes.
Still, I wanted to speak in the end.
I wanted him to know what I was feeling for the first time in my life.
Finally, I understood the fear and burden I felt when I first married into the Temnes family.
Even if I die, I cannot escape his side.
I will be buried in the catacombs of Temnes Castle.
Even if I never win his heart for the rest of my life.
“I don’t want to ruin my daily life. Even if it’s a messy marriage like this.”
Kaian said.
“Wouldn’t it be tiring to spend the day in the same house with your enemy?”
He was a frighteningly rational and wise man.
On the one hand, he was also very selfish.
That the favors he had shown me during this time were not for me. He said it was for his comfort.
I faced Kaian.
Unlike myself, who seemed like my whole body was broken and a mess, he looked like his usual face.
I don't want to believe that he doesn't have feelings for me, but with time I will be able to accept it. But not now.
'In the same house with the enemy?'
That alone touched my antipathy.
“I am not your enemy. Me too... I'm Temnes.”
He says that if anything happens, I'm in Temnes, not Vermont.
“But you're Vermont.”
At moments like this, I am said to be the enemy's daughter.
As far as I could remember, there was no one other than my parents who had given me this much warmth.
I know that it is impossible to get back the feeling of love as much as it is given.
Nevertheless, I was weak in his affections and did not want to lose the warmth he had planted in my heart by feeding me and putting me to sleep, so I was even more scared.
One day, when I was waiting for my death, I felt lonely leaning on my enemy, so I wished that he would be by my side.
Now that I knew how passionately I could hug him, I felt like I could never be as lonely as I used to be.
I don’t know where I sit, but I know where I fly.
“I can’t trust you, Claudel.”
“I’m serious. I am."
Claudel was scared.
It seemed like the day when Kaian treated me kindly would not come starting tomorrow.
'You shouldn't tell me.'
Regret came flooding back.
I said to myself about his condition, 'I don't know when my swollen heart will explode,' but I never thought I would have to endure such a sad feeling.
Sad?
Or is it sad?
Is it sad?
In short, indefinable pain passed through my bruised heart one after another.
“How can I make you trust me?”
In the meantime, I couldn't give up.
I was too young to live my whole life hoping for my hopeless husband's heart.
“Have a baby.”
I felt like the blood was draining from my body.
"Yes. I might believe it after giving birth to an heir. I hope you try.”
I felt a sense of déjà vu.
'It's definitely happened somewhere before...?'
As I searched through my memories, something from early night came to mind.
'Whether you become Claudel Queen Temnes depends on your efforts tonight. I hope you try.'
From the beginning, I said, the relationship between me and him was not fair.
I once again realized that the relationship was only maintained and established through my efforts and my own efforts.
I was so sad and sad that I wanted to cry, but my tears did not come out.
I said it wasn't Kaian's fault.
He hasn't changed. From the time he accepted me as his bride on the first night until now.
It was me who was mistaken and changed as I pleased.
I eventually lowered my head and answered.
“I will try.”
Kaian, perhaps feeling that my words had come to an end, stood up from his seat with a calm and even cool demeanor.
“I think it would be best to go back to the mansion now. Let’s get the carriage ready.”
While he called, I held my hands together and held still.
'Still, I'm glad.'
I did not show him every last hand.
'Because I didn't say I love you.'
I was generally fearless, but sometimes I was quite a coward.
I said something I didn't dare say, that I liked him, and if I thought Kaian would accept my confession, then I was going to say it properly.
If Kaian didn't know, I did.
It was something he had to remain unaware of.
From the edge of the castle wall, Valquiterre looked down at the Temnes carriage running down the slope.
It was a shame that he couldn't bear it.
'I couldn't dance with Claudel.'
The King's appearance was the last.
As soon as she entered the hall, she was the only one who caught his eye amidst the countless sparkles of the nobles decked out in gold jewelry.
He was irritated when he saw Kaian holding Claudel's waist as if showing off, but he was used to hiding his true feelings.
After her first dance, he told her he was going to ask her to dance.
Even if it was inevitable that Kaian would dance the first dance.
As soon as the dance was over, Claudel said something to Kaian and she immediately disappeared outside.
'Does your leg hurt?'
Looking at Kaian's expression, it seems like she said something like that.
That bothered him so much that he couldn't even remember who he was talking about today and what he was talking about.
Bianque, who was standing side by side with him and watching the carriages leaving the castle, became irritated.
“I wanted to dance with Kaian.”
“I just wanted to prevent your misbehaving from spreading throughout the kingdom.”
He was afraid that if he even danced with the troublesome daughter of an old northern fox, there would be more trouble, so he avoided it.
Bianque asked him, crossing her arms and frowning in displeasure.
"By the way. Do you really think this will allow me to marry Kaian?”
I was so sad and sad that I wanted to cry, but my tears did not come out.
I said it wasn't Kaian's fault.
He hasn't changed. From the time he accepted me as his bride on the first night until now.
It was me who was mistaken and changed as I pleased.
I eventually lowered my head and answered.
“I will try.”
Kaian, perhaps feeling that my words had come to an end, stood up from his seat with a calm and even cool demeanor.
“I think it would be best to go back to the mansion now. Let’s get the carriage ready.”
While he called, I held my hands together and held still.
'Still, I'm glad.'
I did not show him every last hand.
'Because I didn't say I love you.'
I was generally fearless, but sometimes I was quite a coward.
I said something I didn't dare say, that I liked him, and if I thought Kaian would accept my confession, then I was going to say it properly.
If Kaian didn't know, I did.
It was something he had to remain unaware of.
***
From the edge of the castle wall, Valquiterre looked down at the Temnes carriage running down the slope.
It was a shame that he couldn't bear it.
'I couldn't dance with Claudel.'
The King's appearance was the last.
As soon as she entered the hall, she was the only one who caught his eye amidst the countless sparkles of the nobles decked out in gold jewelry.
He was irritated when he saw Kaian holding Claudel's waist as if showing off, but he was used to hiding his true feelings.
After her first dance, he told her he was going to ask her to dance.
Even if it was inevitable that Kaian would dance the first dance.
As soon as the dance was over, Claudel said something to Kaian and she immediately disappeared outside.
'Does your leg hurt?'
Looking at Kaian's expression, it seems like she said something like that.
That bothered him so much that he couldn't even remember who he was talking about today and what he was talking about.
Bianque, who was standing side by side with him and watching the carriages leaving the castle, became irritated.
“I wanted to dance with Kaian.”
“I just wanted to prevent your misbehaving from spreading throughout the kingdom.”
He was afraid that if he even danced with the troublesome daughter of an old northern fox, there would be more trouble, so he avoided it.
Bianque asked him, crossing her arms and frowning in displeasure.
"By the way. Do you really think this will allow me to marry Kaian?”
She looked at him impatiently.
“I did everything my brothers told me to do. Ignoring the Duchess and running out of the tent. Do you know how hard it was to hold Kaian and force him until my brother came?”
When Valquiterre said nothing, Bianque noticed.
“No, actually it wasn’t that difficult. But it's not a big deal. Is this really okay? I can become a Duchess with just something like this?”
"Yes."
“Really? Do you have to keep what you promised?”
Bianque's face brightened.
“You said that if I do as you tell me, you will make me a Duchess.”
Later, when Grand Duke Luxen scolded her for being rude, she was upset and almost cried, but when she thought of herself as Kaian's bride, the tears came back.
“Don’t protect it.”
Valquiterre stood there for a long time even after the carriage was completely out of sight.
***
When we returned to the mansion, I was completely exhausted.
“Did you have a good time?”
Hannah greeted us with a smile.
“Take care of my wife. I think it would be a good idea to take a shower and have a quick meal.”
"Yes, My lord. Shall we prepare a meal together?”
“Do it that way. I’m busy with work, so I’ll go to the office for a moment.”
“I’ll pick you up when you’re ready.”
As I disappeared into the bedroom, attended to by Hannah and Madame Marcel, Kaian headed to the study.
After closing the solid, heavy door made of thick wood, the inside of the office was quiet.
It wasn't until he was completely alone that Kaian let out the breath he had been holding.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
His heart felt like it was going to explode and his vision was dizzy.
“Claudel likes me?”
Kaian didn't feel it, so he slapped himself roughly on the cheek.
“It’s not a dream.”
Could something like this happen?
There was a time when Kaian thought that he was favored by God.
Didn't he think that with that confidence, he had taken Claudel, who was easily placed under the scythe of death, as he wanted?
However, he said that the human heart does not always work as intended.
He knows that.
“She likes me.”
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