RLAAQ - Chapter 25 < Faith Is For You >
Refusing Love As A Queen
"Rhodri."
The Queen looked at him with a hint of mockery and a hint of pity in her eyes,
"Why would the most outstanding theological genius come to ask a heretic what faith is?"
"Save me, please turn your ears. Listen to me, save me, be my rock of refuge and my citadel of salvation."
Archbishop Rodri said desperately. He took the Queen's hand.
The Queen discovered that his hand, which had just been able to hold the hidden blade and fight Heinrich, was now trembling, pale, and cold.
What else could he do?
His world had collapsed in that thunder. Since returning from Santa Maria Cathedral, he had read all the classics he knew sleeplessly.
All the scriptures that were once regarded as truth repeatedly told him that the world was created by God, and all those who disrespected and did not believe in God would not be protected.
There was no mention of why God would respond to people who did not believe in Him. Prayer? If the Queen is a true believer, they are heretics, but the Queen doesn't care what people believe! She doesn't care at all what God's people believe in.
Shouldn't people believe in Gods?
He also went to see old Father Balder, his mentor, the person who led him on the road to death.
When he was six years old, his mentor led the brothers in the monastery to mix bread and cloth. Distribute the materials to the poor, then lift up the cross and firmly preach to everyone that "God so loves the world."
That scene left a deep imprint in his mind, causing him to give up his family's inheritance rights without hesitation and embark on the path of becoming a Saint.
In his memory, his mentor clarified his doubts in front of the statue of God countless times and paved the way for him to communicate with God.
However, this time his mentor could no longer answer any questions for him.
In the cold dungeon of Wyhall Prison, old Father Balder huddled up in a ball, curling up like a mouse in the sewage. The poison of the Heinrich family couldn't even stop the screams from his soul.
"God won't do that. This is wrong! Wrong!"
The mentor is crazy and can't even recognize him anymore.
Why did the most serious, pious, and loyal person in his heart become like this?
Rodri could no longer get any answers from his mentor.
He was even horrified to find that the image of his mentor in front of the statue of God, pressing scriptures and saving the souls of the world, was quickly being replaced by the dirty shadow of the man huddled in the corner.
He almost escaped from Wyhall Prison.
The world was shrouded in rain. He stumbled through the streets and alleys, from day to night, and finally came to a trembling doubt, a question he had never thought of.
"Save me, tell me."
He murmured and trembled as he asked the terrifying question.
"What do people in this world believe in...?"
"No."
Adele replied calmly and cruelly. Her voice was soft, but it was like thunder in Archbishop Rodri's ears.
"No one can tell you, and you can't know whether other people's answers are right or wrong. Rodri, no one can." "
"Then tell me your answer."
Adele wanted to withdraw her hand, but Rodri held her tightly, and he looked at her closely, fearing to miss any syllable that came from her lips.
"Why do you believe in God?"
Adele asked
"Do you believe in Him Himself, or do you believe in something else?"
Why does he believe in God?
Archbishop Rodri has thought about this question himself countless times and answered this question to believers countless times. Each time, he was able to quote countless scriptures and countless teachings to answer it, but tonight those teachings and scriptures all lost their glorious magic.
In the sound of rain, the first image that came to his mind was the scene of old Father Balder distributing food to the poor.
The expressions of gratitude and happiness on people's faces are vivid in his mind.
"Because..."
He answered blankly, his voice as if floating on the water,
"Because I thought... He can save the world. Isn't it Him who makes us kind, just, loyal and protective?"
"Isn't it true that He is good, just, loyal and protective? Does loyalty and protection only exist for God?"
Adele asked.
"If a heretic saves a city, is it because he is a heretic that he is not kind and righteous? Is it true that the people he saved are not kind and righteous? Should people forget their bravery because of this? If a priest faithfully guards a spring just because it is a spring where God has performed miracles, and allows hundreds of people to die of thirst outside the spring, is it right? Did he save the world in this way? Rhodri, where is God?"
Adele asked softly.
Yes, where is God? In heaven? in the church? In the scriptures? Or where?
"I don't believe in God."
She said coldly.
"At least, I don't believe in the God you talk about."
Archbishop Rodri asked hurriedly.
"Then what do you believe in? Your own God? Or the devil?"
"I don't believe in anything. I don’t believe it.”
The Queen said that the Gods of the people had brought her shame, and fate had made her die without a burial place.
"I only believe in myself."
The rain became heavier, and the cold rain poured into the stone corridor at an angle. The Queen withdrew her hand and turned to leave. There was dead silence behind her, and Archbishop Rodri seemed to be frozen there.
As soon as the Queen took two steps, Archbishop Rodri staggered forward and grabbed the Queen's hand again. Unlike before, this time his hands no longer trembled. The Queen turned to look at him, only to see him kneeling down without hesitation in the rain-covered corridor, and then lowered his head.
Incline your ear to me and save me: be my rock of refuge and my citadel of salvation.
You are my rock and my castle, you guide me and teach me for your name’s sake.
You rescue me from the snare of darkness; you alone are my refuge.
I place my soul in your hands...
He kissed the back of the Queen's hand deeply. Like a believer kissing his Lord.
***
The impermanence of fate always makes people wonder whether God is teasing the world.
Heinrich stood at the corner of the corridor, a blind spot that was not noticed, and let the heavy rain soak him. He watched for a long time, watching Archbishop Rodri grab the Queen's hand, watching their conversation in the sound of rain, watching Archbishop Rodri kneel down and kiss the back of her hand.
He stayed in the rain as long as they stayed in the cloister.
The coldness of the rain penetrated through the heavy clothes and penetrated into his bones, making the injury on his left rib begin to hurt.e
Yes, that wound. The wound that had earned him the trust of the Queen—or Princess Adele, as she should be called—should have healed years ago.
But now it hurts again, even worse.
It was when Princess Adele was expelled from the palace and exiled to Reef City. Although the Young Princess seemed to have nothing left, her mother had a high reputation in Gloria. The Roland people hated the red-eyed Princess, but the common people in Gloria respected her extremely.
Adele is still a dangerous thorn to some people, especially when this thorn is paired with the dormant two-headed snake.
The carriage had only been less than a day away from the imperial capital when the assassins arrived.
Amidst the sounds of torches and swords, the two sides were fighting. Heinrich could not remember the situation clearly at that time. He only remembered that a figure in the darkness rushed toward the Princess guarding the center, and a dagger was about to sink in. Her chest... Kelly was split on the other side, making a sad sound. He pounced on it. The dagger scraped coldly across his bones.
After he woke up, they had left that dangerous place, and reinforcements from the Heinrich family arrived in time. They arrive safely in a town controlled by the Heinrich family.
"Sir."
When he opened his eyes, the first person he saw was Adele. She was sitting in the light of the candle, apparently sneaking in while avoiding everyone. Under the candlelight, she stood barefoot in front of his bed, her face serious.
"Where is your escort?"
He asked to ring the bell to let people in.
The Princess's hand held him down. Perhaps because of the serious injury, he actually felt that the slender hand was so firm and powerful.
"Thank you for saving me,"
She whispered.
"I have nothing now, but I can only give you this -"
There is nothing to thank you for, he thought, a little amused.
They had invested so much in her, and the person who died in the assassination could be him or anyone else, but it couldn't be her - this was what her father would definitely say. If the family heir dies, he can be replaced, but there is only one bargaining chip that can help the family get out of trouble.
But he couldn't say it. He even waited for what the Princess was about to give him out of a mentality that he didn't even know.
A hairpin? Or a pearl?
Nothing, nothing.
The Princess placed the candle and looked into his eyes.
"I give you my trust. This is the only thing I have left."
She handed her hand to him as if it were an oath. It is better to make a pact with the devil than to believe in an oath. Trust is not worth a penny.
His father's teachings echoed in his ears, but the rose-colored eyes under the candlelight seemed to have the magic power of a witch, and he still reached out his hand out of nowhere.
"Your wound still hurts?"
A familiar voice came from behind. Heinrich looked up suddenly and saw the Queen standing not far from him. Her eyes were fixed on his hands.
When Heinrich lowered his head, he realized that his hand had been pressed tightly against his left ribs at some point, as if he wanted to use this method to relieve the pain that suddenly became extremely sharp.
He let go of his hand.
"If you stay in the cold rain any longer, I'm afraid Kelly will be angry tomorrow."
"As expected, you didn't leave."
The Queen sighed.
"Why did you come to me today? Let me guess. Guess - the port agreement? Dalton's changes and the failure of the Church of Old God have made you and your family feel uneasy, right?"
Yes and no. Heinrich wanted to say something, but didn't know what.
The Church of the Old God is unable to resist the power of the Queen. The monks of the Saint Loringian Monastery are trembling and scrambling to surrender to the Queen's throne, for fear that if they are too late, they will be torn into pieces by the people who have been angry for too long since the drought.
The Queen's unprecedented majesty made the family tremble and frightened. She made many people feel strange. Under fear and worry, they wanted to know her attitude and wanted to test the Queen's attitude through the port agreement that was about to be reached with the Root Empire.
And what is his motivation? What does he want to know?
"Sir."
She finally addressed him as "Sir" again, as they called each other, instead of the estranged "Heinrich."
"You still remember that injury, why can't you remember other things?"
The Queen asked softly.
"What did I say when I entrusted you with my trust?"
The distance between them is so close and yet so far, more than ten years. Time roars by, pattering in the sound of rain. Heinrich suddenly didn't want to hear or know anymore. The injury on his ribs hurt so much in the rain that he couldn't think.
"You forgot."
The Queen's face became colder and paler in the gloom.
"That little girl's trust is precious because she only has so much left."
"No... don't say it anymore."
Heinrich took a step back, and his back hit the cold, hard stone pillar. His voice was extremely weak as if he was praying for something.
"The port agreement will be handled after the Old Gods incident is over, and the Heinrich family still has a seat at the meeting,"
The Queen said.
"But please keep in mind that you and your family always.."
"Don't be my enemy."
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